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Monday, August 31, 2020

Murky Secrets of Various Industries

Not every job or role is as noble, omnipotent, or even as useful as they always seem to be. There are sketchy secrets in tons of industries, from how you're being charged to who exactly is on the other end of the phone. It can be a little unsettling to know how people actually feel about their own jobs, but it's not exactly shocking.

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Tagged: industry , wtf , secret , job , work , interesting , funny , field , service industry

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Lying Choosing Beggar Pays More Than He Bargained For

Man, oh, man, this was one especially cheeky choosing beggar. They tried to pull a fast one on that seller with some last minute haggling, but ultimately failed hard. Hopefully they learned their lesson in honesty and integrity. Check out another case of a choosing beggar being a handful with this choosing beggar that wanted an iPad for $40 and free delivery.

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Text - r/ChoosingBeggars u/MAStersOfTheUn1verse • 1d Join 1 Lying CB ends up paying more than he bargained for LONG Just a small CB but it pleased me how it worked out. TL;DR at the end as I realise I can waffle on. My mother in law was downsizing and had a decent office chair to get rid of, fully adjustable with lumbar support and all that jazz. If I'm honest I really wanted it but I don't have an office/study or anywhere to put it, my desk is my dining room table.

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Text - She was originally going to drop it off at a charity shop but they couldn't take it as they don't have fire tags (in the UK a charity shop can't take furniture with any type of upholstery on them with out a safety tag on it to show it is fire retardant). So the missus suggest she list them on Facebook and try and get some money for it so MIL could either treat herself or donate the money to the charity. Now if you were to buy one of these chairs new it would probably cost £150ish, it was

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Text - Interested buyer messages my wife, who created the listing so MIL wouldn't have to deal with negotiation and asks if they would accept £25 for one of the chairs. MIL says yes that's fine if they could collect roday, so my wife passes this on and asks when will you come and collect? A time was set for collection later in the day and all was well. The chairs were at MIL's house and my wife was at our house and so all communication was relayed between text message. About 30 minutes before th

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Text - The CB, seeing his discount chair being pushed back into the house then offered to pay £20 saying "£20 is all I have" and then offered the previously agreed £25 for the chair. I was still on the phone at this point and could hear what my mother in law was saying but not what the Choosing Beggar was saying. I heard her say "as you have said, you've come a long way to pick it up, if you don't want to go home empty handed it was originally listed for £30." CB reluctantly paid £30 and took hi

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Tagged: quit your bullshit , entitlement , FAIL , ridiculous , dishonest , cheap , choosing beggar

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Patently Absurd Warning Signs

We live in a world of many dangers, so many so that it requires terrifying signs that speak the language of fear. Some of these signs ride the line just between utter joke and serious business, and others are straight up creepy as hell. There are spooky signs out there that mean serious business.

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Material property - DANGER DO NOT TOUCH Not only will this kill you, It will hurt the whole time you are dying.

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Signage - WARNING IF FOUND HERE AT NIGHT YOU WILL BE FOUND HERE IN THE MORNING

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Text - NO CLIMBING ALLIGATORS LOVE KIDS em BUT THEY'RE HARD TO es. DIGEST SO PLEASE DO use NOT CLIMB ON THE BARRIERS OR WALLS

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Text - ATTENTION TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED FREQUENT TRESPASSERS WILL BE SENT AWAY ON MISSION.

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Sign - 0310 AČAUTÍON 0-210 大 NO PEDESTRIANS

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Nature reserve - ΑΤΤΕΝΤΙΟN! If you become lost or confused in the corn maze, stay calm! Don't panic, help is on the way. Every Thursday morning we send a rescue team into the maze to bring out everyone left from the previous weekend. They are highly trained and can usually locate over two-thirds of those left behind.

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Signage - AWARNINGA TO AVOID INJURY DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB

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Sign - THIS RIDE 林 ONLY STOPS IN AN EMERGENCY. CRYING IS NOT AN EMERGENCY

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Text - If we die, we're taking you with us.

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Signage - WARNING FEED A PIGEON LOSE A FINGER ED THE BIRD Code SEC 486 M.P. Thank You! PIER 39 San Francises H PLEASE DON

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Nature reserve - THIS PROPERTY IS PROTECTED 24/7 BY SECURITY CAMERAS & 20 OR MORE WOLVES

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Nature reserve - NO TRESPASSING WE'RE TIRED OF HIDING THE BODIES

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Motor vehicle - Please do not enter the dangerous area beyond this gate! You quite possibly will get hurt, then you will sue, then a protracted court battle will ensue exhausting your financial resources and you will lose because this sign that warned you will be "Exhibit 1".

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Font - UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN AN ENERGY DRINK AND TAUGHT TO SWEAR

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Signage - SUBURBRNE PARKING FOR GOUP SHACK GARAGE GUESTS ONLY VIOLATORS WILL DIE... EVENTUALLY

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Nature reserve - "Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.

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Signage - BEWARE OF FALLING DEER: Leopards conceal their unfinished food in the tops of trees.

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Chain-link fencing - ZOO RULES THOSE WHO THROW OBJECTS AT THE CROCODILES/SNAKES WILL BE ASKED TO RETRIEVE THEM

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Tagged: warning , jokes , absurd , signs , lol , silly , threat , dumb , funny

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Tumblr Thread: Hilariously Dramatic Mishaps In Drama Club

This fun and wildly entertaining Tumblr thread shines light on some of the hilarious, and entirely ridiculous mishaps that can occur in drama club. Just picturing that huge rubber fish sailing into the audience to the horror of all the parents is enough to get the laughs rolling. Can't imagine what kind of silence must've ensued after that. Check out some more gold from Tumblr with this thread about cultures colliding over how to measure time and space.

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Text - lucasbieneke Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched "Poison Boots" and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino's foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking "How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for

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Text - crutchiee or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert's suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out musicofthestage best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere agatharights During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesu

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Text - Jesus screamed "JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME". Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn't been adjusted. So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage). soulpunchftw This is wild from start to finish

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Text - totalspiffage I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook's mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went "YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!" in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway) sheriffwxy In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night's dream, Thisbe didn't have a sword so she stab

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Text - redheadeddisneyfreak My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she'd get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com "zombie Juliet" and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears. sammywhatammy i attended my county's

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Text - my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway's The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far. in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa sayi

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Text - cinder-ember During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston's introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky? Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, t

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Text - Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store TM, I'd finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run. Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn't drop the it. Lefou's actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. T

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Text - Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it's place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou's conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage..from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle jok

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Text - Sunday Night: Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy. Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston, Gaston doesn't notice the dropped prop and ste

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Text - les-etoiles-de-la-boxe Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were "fishing" at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn't big enough, and throw it back into the "ocean",

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Text - hey-look-a-hufflepuff This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash miss-elsaba My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and the

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Text - coffeeandpunkmusic My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn't dramatic enough for "fleeing" so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmoth

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Text - peterquilltingcircle I was once in a production of "Hello Dolly!" and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other's plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see

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Tagged: school , drama , tumblr , ridiculous , education , funny , funny tumblr

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