Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Totally Random And Hilarious Tinder Moments


Oh, yes, we're back at it again with a fresh collection of strange, immature, cheesy, and generally random moments from the minds of the Tinder world. Tinder is a giant magnet for the world's most absurd pickup lines. It is the place to try out those one-liners that you'd never actually say in real life. Plus, on rare occasion, it's a place to strike up a genuine connection with someone else. Just requires some patience and a commitment to sifting through all the jokes along the way. 

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Furniture - Oh sorry for the unsolicited deck pic. That was for someone else That is a sexy deck 10/10 would sit on it Trimmed the bushes so it looks bigger

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Text - Austin Locke @austinlockedup I'm pretending to be a hot girl on tinder sol can match with my roomate and tell him Im coming over so he'll clean the apartment

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Text - Hayley YOU MATCHED WITH HAYLEY ON 8/10/20 Can I ask you a question? GO AHEAD If there is a watermelon why isn't there a firemelon and earthmelon. And why can't I be the master of all the elomons. Because only the avomon, master of all 4 elomons can stop the firemelons, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

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Photography - Gin, 30 A Lives in Singapore O 4 miles away Born and bred here. Looking for tonic.

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Text - Amber 19 8 Straight Woman O 497 kilometer(s) away Hey wanna come over and watch all 3 lord of the rings extended edition films and not look at your phone so as to fully immerse yourself in the world and listen to me tell you about how viggo broke his foot on the helmet and how that's Peter Jackson eating the carrot

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Text - i Gonna go for a drive Cool where you going? Gonna go earn money What car do you drive?

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Text - So you're those types of people What type of people? Why does it matter what kind of car I drive? I just like cars lol It doesn't really matter I mean, like some people don't have cars too. So it's kinda risky assuming someone has a car. You said you're going for a drive...

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Text - Andy, 24 û Software Engineer o The Ohio State University O 10 miles away Baking Travel) (Movies) (Climbing Gamer fuck people who play jenga wrong "YoU tOucHEd ThAt BIOckK So yOu HavE tO PuLI tHat OnE Out" You've never even fucking read the rules have you, you shithead idiot. What, is the game over in 3 seconds, if you just so happen to touch a load bearing block first?FUCKING NO DUMBASS. Learn to read you illiterate fuck.

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Text - ur the guy I saw in giant a few weeks ago haha Lol I was thinking "Wait! I saw her at giant a couple weeks ago" Permission to use a pickup line ? permission granted haha Guess we both found our snacks in the grocery store Type a message Send

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Text - Today 16:27 You have the same name as my mum, can you make me food too? Of course Are you on the menu? Yes I am 05? I dont know how, but yon used the Wrang formda an) 2 got the coront answer -o.14-tobr AS O.14 1.03

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Text - Today 07:08 Say potato looking for hookup add me on snap (emamao2020) Yeah, so the word we were looking for was "potato". I'm a so sorry, but thanks for playing! Sent Type a message...

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Text - Hey Danielle Today 10:27 AM Нey! So can I be frank with you Sure Sent I'm not trying to date you or anything, I'm robbing a bank and need an attractive female to distract an overweight guard that runs the night shift. Clothing will be provided. All you need to do is hold his attention for 15 minutes and 49 seconds. Are you in or out Danielle ?

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Text - Can you solve a Rubik's cube in less than 12 seconds? No way Okay good neither can I Just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be intimidated by you Haha okay good Okay sweet we're dating now That's how tinder works Or so I'm told Lol ok but I don't think my boyfriend would like that No I'm fine with it

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Text - Sat, Jul 18, 11:04 PM If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be and why? Sat, Jul 18, 11:40 PM Rocky road cause l've been goin through it lol wbu Tue, Jul 21, 4:35 PM Was I the wrong kind of ice cream Sent GIF Type a message...

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Text - Max You might be the only girl l've seen that has only solo pics and I love that It's cause I have no friends a Sent

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Text - Okay I don't want to get into this but I broke up a few weeks ago, I just want to enjoy some good time Ahh gotcha I got a ps2 with Lego Star wars if that helps

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Clothing - Rat, 35 O 58 miles away My name is Ray and I can't change it SHARE RAT'S PROFILE SEE WHAT A FRIEND THINKS

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Couple Leaves Windows Open, Bats Invade Home


As far as nightmarish situations involving creepy crawlers and other animals getting into one's home while they're away, this scenario takes the cake. The poor guy's heart must've leapt outside of his chest when he realized that he was not dealing with birds, but instead an army of bats. Kudos to the landlord for tackling that terrifying situation with fearless gusto. 

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Text - r/tifu + Join u/TheAyJay • 15h TIFU by cracking open a few windows of our third floor apartment before leaving on a week long vacation M My wife and I moved from the U.S. to Germany earlier this year. We left our cat behind thinking we'd pop back over for him once we got settled (a pre-COVID thought). COVID messed that up so this past week I went back to get him finally.

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Text - My wife was going to be gone while I was in the U.S. and normally we leave the tops of our windows cracked for airflow (we were told we need to air apartments regularly). These are 6 foot tall tilt-and-turn windows notorious in Germany. I returned yesterday and it's where the fuck-up unfolds. Traveling internationally with a cat and during COVID is stressful enough, so after lugging my cat and luggage home, I was ready to unwind and fall asleep. However, life likes to teach me lessons the

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Text - Given that I only had a small broom to deal with the bats and it was Sunday night (nothing is open on Sundays), I frantically called my landlord for assistance. He hurried over with a 10 pool cleaning net and we got to work. We found bats in all the curtains and behind all of the canvases, posters, and mirrors. If there was a place off the ground with room for a bat, you can bet there was one there. My landlord described us as the Spartans from 300 fighting off the 125 bats (last nights e

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Text - Today, I caught about 30 more that apparently started to nest in one of the walls (our apartment is over 100 years old and not in the best shape). I think I got all of them, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. 0/10 would not recommend. TL;DR Wife and I left a few windows cracked while we were gone for a week and came back to 150+ bats in our apartment. They shit on everything in every room.

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Tumblr Thread: Aggressive Generosity Combats Boomer Selfishness


It's quick little tales like this that manage to temporarily restore our faith in humanity. This dude did not have to intervene when the Karen in front of them was making the Dairy Queen employee's shift all the more unpleasant, but they did. Oh yes, they did, and they did so when it came at zero benefit to them. That's the selfless kindness that the world needs. Plus, picturing Karen's face when she continued to witness someone else actively offsetting her toxic antics. 

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Text - unclefather cashier: l'm sorry it's going to be a 5 minute wait for your food old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. I'm going to kill you. cashier: I'm sorry it's going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

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Text - millennials: okay, my apologies. I apologize for the inconvenience. I'm sorry l'm here. chasing-asterion me, walking into a store: are you guys busy? i can come back later. please don't push yourselves on my account. things happen

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Text - heatherleigh02 Had a baby boomer in front of me at the Dairy Queen. She INSISTED she was a Blizzard EXPERT and there was simply NOT ENOUGH chocolate pieces in her blizzard and she wanted to complain to "whoever is in charge". She's going on and on with this teenager. The teenager is calmly explaining they make them all the same etc etc procedure etc etc. But this woman is now yelling at the teen.

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Cheezburger Image 9536022528

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Text - aplatonicjacuzzi Aggressive generosity to combat boomer selfishness is so punk raptoradapter Weaponize compassion

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Coworker Steals Waiter's Tip, Waiter Takes Calculated Revenge


Anyone who has ever worked in the industry (or even not) understands the grueling nature of just getting through shifts with as little drama as possible. Whether it's fielding a toxic wave of Karens that have a bone to pick with anyone in their near vicinity, or just trying to collect enough tips from customers to make ends meet; the job is not easy. Well, the job is made a whole lot worse by nasty coworkers like this one who have a knack for staging dramatic breakdowns over the most trivial of things. This waiter handled their coworker though. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Restaurantthrowaway9 • 3y The time a coworker stole my tip. [Xpost from r/Talesfromyourserver] The coworker in question was a pain in the ass, but she was a decent server and she did her sidework, so what evs. So this girl wanted to leave early one night. She had one table left and asked me to take them because they would be camping out for a while. I too had one table left that was just finishing up. So I said l'd take them if she didn't cash them out first. I wasn'

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Text - Now I don't know why she transferred them because she stayed the whole time they were there. She walked around the whole restaurant and bar, trashing me to anyone who would listen. When it came time to cash them out she went to the table and said something to them while I was running their cards and making change. Fuckin A. I handed them their slips, and cash to the one guy who paid in cash. Someone at the table said, "I don't know what you did to that girl, but she told us not to tip you

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Text - Now, everyone at the table left me a 20%-ish tip... except for the cash guy, who left me nothing... on a $20 dollar check... 20% X $20 = $4. It was at this point that I lost my shit. I asked her if she took money off of my table. I'd like to say I was calm and collected, but l'm sure that I wasn't. %3D She runs screaming to the manager that I accused her of stealing. I explain the whole situation to the manager, who I'm sure will see reason. He opts to check the security footage, but no,

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Text - Now here comes the really fucked up part. My next shift the regional manager comes in to talk to me about the whole situation. She acknowledges that she believes me, but there's nothing she can do about it. And then she instructs me to apologize to the girl! Ha! Fat chance! I agreed to do it but obviously never did. Well it was around that point that I moved to the bar full time. I had several weapons of revenge at my disposal, but the best one in my arsenal, by far, was that I now knew t

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Text - One time I said her name quietly, under my breath, so only she could hear it. Then I pretended like I didn't say anything. Instant meltdown. Run screaming to the manager. The real key was to wait for a night when she was already in a bad mood, then do it 2 or 3 times in a row, then wait a few weeks to do it again. That way it looked like she was just being a child and taking it out on me since she already had beef with me. It worked like a charm. She got shittier shifts, shittier sections

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Text - Eventually she got fired for threatening to have her boyfriend beat me up... within earshot of a manager. Fired on the spot. Check and mate bitch. The whole process took about 5 months. Was it petty? Yes. Was it childish and passive aggressive? Absolutely. Was it all over $4? Yup. Was it satisfying? Oh... it was so, so satisfying. TL;DR: Hooker steals my tip. I systematically, yet covertly, antagonize her until she gets herself fired. 6.2k 141 1 Share

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Quick Tumblr Post On Caring For Monsters


Tumblr's always reliable for keeping all the bases covered. This time we get the rundown on the proper ways to go about caring for monsters. It is essential to provide that Sphinx with enrichment by answering its riddles. And who would've known that giant spiders are actually very social creatures, and should not be housed alone? For some more gold from Tumblr check out this professor's crazy beach tale.

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Text - headspace-hotel Follow Common misconceptions surrounding the care of monsters Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT normal for a Cerberus's heads to fight with one another; this indicates anxiety or lack of proper enrichment. Giant spiders are actually very social creatures, and should not be housed alone. Provide your Sphinx with enrichment by answering its riddles. Though Sphinxes can be trained to attack those who answer incorrectly, they actually normally speak in riddles as a form of

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Text - If you cannot provide brimstone and a large pool of lava for bathing, don't purchase a Hellhound! They are animals with very specific care needs and their health will suffer if they are not given the proper habitat. Likewise, most Hellhound kibble brands on the market do not meet the recommended daily requirement of damned souls for Hellhounds. Always check the labels! The practice of putting blinders over the eyes of Basilisks to make them less dangerous is cruel. Basilisks should not be

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Text - A labyrinth is NOT an appropriate habitat for a Minotaur!! Minotaurs need fresh grass and shade to lie down in to be happy. Also, a diet of only human flesh will cause malnutrition. Supplement your Minotaur's diet of kidnapped youths with a source of fiber, such as hay! Remember, that hatchling Roc is an adorable fluff ball now, but it will eventually become a fearsome elephant-sized bird of prey with a ravenous appetite and very demanding housing requirements. A pet should always be a we

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Text - Some Manticores need to be fed live prey; others, however, will accept prey that has been frozen and thawed. It depends on the individual. Even smaller species of griffin need a lot of space. Domestic rock-griffins, though only the size of a cat, need room to fly and to build large nests. If you live in an apartment, it is better to adopt one of the smallest species, such as one of many types of song- griffins! Humming-griffins, however, though you may have seen cute videos on Instagram,

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Girlfriend Complains About Looks, Man Suggests Surgery


The folks of Reddit have spoken and are in collective agreement that this dude was out of line. Not only did he suggest that his girlfriend use makeup, but he also threw out a bit about her getting very serious surgery on her face. That's just making her insecurities all the worse, man. 

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Text - Text - 61 1 AITA for suggesting to my girlfriend she start wearing makeup again? Asshole My (24M) girlfriend "Maya" (26F) is the most beautiful woman on Earth, literally perfect from top to bottom. She was drafted by a really big modeling agency in LA while we were in college (how we met) and she made an unbelievable amount of money, enough to pay off all her student loans and buy us a house. We also have a 1yo son.

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Text - Text - Like I said, I love everything about this woman – the way she dresses and does her hair, her perfume that smells amazing, and the confidence in how she carries herself is just so attractive. She's also incredibly smart, much smarter than me. Last year, though, Maya's parents died in an unexpected accident, and while it wasn't surprising to me that she was grieving at first, I was, however, surprised at just how bad it was, and before you call me TA for saying that, I had reason for

3.

Text - Text - The main issue here is normally when Maya is upset about something, she will dress up and do her hair and makeup and go out to make herself feel better, but since the pandemic started, she hasn't been able to go out, and so she stopped doing her makeup entirely. She'll still braid her hair and wear nice outfits around the house, but I am concerned about her not doing her makeup.

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Text - Text - Another concerning thing, too is she basically stopped eating. Once I realized that she wasn't eating any of the lunches I was packing for her work, I started making more heavy dinners every night like pastas, jambalaya, enchiladas, etc. otherwise she will try to live off nothing but peanut butter and celery. I can't make her eat at work, but I can at least make sure she eats dinner every night.

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Text - Text - This all came to a head just a few hours ago - I made her steak and potatoes, and as we were eating, she started talking about how she wanted to get cosmetic surgery to get rid of the bags under her eyes. I told her she could always just start wearing makeup again, because she knows how to conceal that issue, anyway, right? I also suggested that if we were gonna pay for plastic surgery, why not something like the "mommy makeover" package l've heard about, because that would actuall

6.

Text - Text - Maya just got really quiet, and after a really long and awkward silence, she told me she wanted to go to bed. After putting our son to bed, she went into our room and locked the door. When I knocked, she yelled at me to leave her alone, so I went to sleep in the guest room. When I tried to get her to eat this morning, she just snapped at me to leave her alone, and then went for a walk. I need to know, AITA?

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Text - RB1327 • 1d • Pooperintendant [67] YTA. She sounds depressed. She needs therapy, not jambalaya or makeup. Reply 718 ...

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Text - Text - bobi2393 • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [6] 1 Award Lol, YTA bud. Your headline buried the lede; suggesting "mommy makeover" surgery to your partner is a sensitive topic at best, and suggesting it to someone in the midst of depression, who already sounds like she's suffering from insecurity...hoo boy! The only mitigating factor in your favor is that you might be so idiotic that it's hard to hold you fully accountable for your insensitivity. Reply 878

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Text - athshe2 • 1d • Partassipant [2] YTA. You didn't just suggest she wear makeup again. You suggested she have a much more serious plastic surgery than what she suggested. She's obviously feeling concerned about her weight and you just validated all her insecurities. Reply 3.3k ...

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Text - Text - niccagetheelephant8 • 1d • Certified Proctologist [25] YTA but I am concerned about her not doing her makeup. Makeup takes a long time to do. It is completely understandable for her to not wear makeup if she cant go anywhere in it any way. Her not eating, however, is concerning. She is grieving. Even if somone didnt have a good relationship with their parents they may still be incredibly upset about their death. Everyone reacts differently and it seems like her grief may be causing

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Text - Text - dz89d61 • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [6] YTA and not even for the reason you think. Instead of trying to make her feel better about the one issue she confined in you she wants to fix through cosmetic surgery, not only did you suggest she covers it up confirming her insecurity but you also added to it by pointing out other things she could fix Reply 1 75 ...

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Text - Text - wonderouscamille • 1d YTA-You tanked your relationship, and what you said was shitty and cruel. I think your heart is a tiny bit in the right place, especially since your trying to get your girlfriend to eat. However, that should be your only priority not suggesting a mommy makeover and that she wears makeup. She opened up to you about her insecurity and you told her forget about that worry getting other parts of her body done. Even if she hadn't tragically lost both parents and ha

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Text - Text - ogdeloon • 1d • Asshole Enthusiast [7] YTA. "I want to get surgery that will make it look like l'm wearing makeup." "But you could just wear makeup?? Hey! You could get a tummy tuck, lip filler, boob job..stares into distance, thinking about boob job..god honey, now wouldn't that really make you feel about your body?" ^ this is how it played in my head. Reply 1 21 ...

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Text - Text - minimalminutiae • 1d • Partassipant [4] YTA. It sounds like your gf is depressed, and what's ~concerning- is that instead of trying to talk to her about what's going on in terms of her mental health, you're instead more concerned about making sure she maintains her physical looks. Reply 1 42 ...

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Text - Text - throwaway0413589874 • 1d • Partassipant [1] Dude YTA 1. Her and her parents had a bad relationship but she is still entitled to grieve, as she is grieving the possible future relationship she could have had with them. 2. Hey I've been working from home for 6 months and wear PJs all day and don't brush my hair or wear a bra. Why does she have to wear makeup? 3. Being stuck inside does take a toll on someone's mental health, and on top of grieving more than likely makes it worse. 4.

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Text - Text - calyxium • 21h YTA - You didn't say "hey why don't you try wearing makeup again to make yourself feel better?" Your girlfriend expressed an insecurity about a physical flaw she feels she has and you basically said "Oh no you should fix this WAY BIGGER flaw instead!" You did a lot of work to convince us you think she's beautiful. Time to apologise and go convince her. Her not wearing makeup and eating less could be a sign that she's struggling with depression but it could also just

17.

Text - Text - nattiey2002 • 22h ΥΤΑ I really wanted to be for you because I understand the makeup part... it's not about her looking better to you, it's about how she perceived herself that you're worried over But homie.. a mommy makeover vs a little eye work?! Yikes friend. You might have to start thinking about what you want custody arrangement to look like Reply ...

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Text - Text - LitChick2000• 22h ΥΤΑ And you are shallow AF. Never mind you saying how much you love her. Actions you describe are not loving. Your are objectifying her. She lost her parents. Just because they weren't talking for some time, doesn't mean that both parties didn't care for one another, or that she did not want to re- establish a healthy relationship with her parents. Sudden loss of loved ones like this is absolutely devastating. Reply ... >>

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Text - Text - sthetic • 21h • Partassipant [2] YTA. She became so upset at her parents' death that she stopped wearing makeup. Therefore, if she starts wearing makeup again, she will stop being sad about the death of her parents???? Is that your logic? The loss of appetite and self-care is a SYMPTOM of her depression. You're just focused on concealing the symptom. She needs grief counselling or something. Reply ...

20.

Text - Text - ursadminor • 21h YTA. She was talking about one insecurity, you reinforced it and added a new one ("yeah you have bags but why don't you just wear make up to fix it? The real problem is that tummy!"O). Plus, please bear in mind that damaged familial relationships can still leave you shattered when the person dies. You can suffer guilt, grief for the relationship you could have had, confusion about how to feel etc. Plus if your child is only 1, you might want to consider if post nat

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