Saturday, July 18, 2020

AskReddit Thread: Things People Are Hilariously Bad At


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the things that people are hilariously bad at. You might connect with some of these on a painful level. Some folks just aren't built to carry the small talk, or crack the funny joke, or dance. 

1.

Text - odoms365 • 6h Dancing. I genuinely cannot coordinate my body to do it Reply 1 2.7k ...

2.

Text - CrimsonFox100 •5h Posing for pictures. When I smile, it looks like there's a gun being pointed at me behind the camera. I just don't understand how photogenic people exist Reply 1.9k ...

3.

Text - nev_ertheless • 5h Winking. I CANNOT wink for the life of me. My friends are constantly harassing me for my inability to wink. It's awful. Why can so many people just shut one eye?! It seems so simple, yet I just CANT. Reply 464 ...

4.

White - StuppyStip • 6h singing Imao Reply 189 ...

5.

Text - Sirhc978 • 6h Talking to people I don't know. Reply 653

6.

Text - Berdiiie • 5h Under threat of death I still wouldn't be able to whistle. I've read the tips, I've practiced, I'm still basically just spitting or forcefully breathing through pursed lips with no noise at all. Reply 428

7.

Text - D-Rez • 6h Remembering dates, even my own birthday. Reply 761 ...

8.

Text - BLOXRoehrl • 6h 3 2 Awards Making jokes. As an introvert, I wish I could be social without long pauses, and just simply make more friends. I usually try telling jokes, but the person I tell the joke to just nods as if I just said a statement. Reply 863 ...

9.

Text - Vrinda777 • 6h Comforting or consoling a crying friend... Reply 1.2k ...

10.

White - updooter9000•6h Social interaction Reply 129 ...

11.

Text - Ms-Charlie • 5h Making new friends and/or speaking to strangers. Reply 1 65 ...

12.

Text - gyozaaa • 5h I'm reasonably fit but can't do situps. I can do like 30 pushups with textbook form but not one single situp. Also, don't throw anything and expect me to catch it. It'll bounce out of my palm and l'll close my fingers like five seconds later. Reply 126

13.

Text - Reddwarf987 • 5h Understanding emotions and knowing how to respond to people when they compliment me Reply 65 ...

14.

White - YourGamelsLoading • 6h Navigating Reply 59 ...

15.

White - mushydough • 5h small talk Reply 55 ...

16.

Text - NeverSeenA1Thirteen • 6h Remembering names. I don't know why but I can't remember names. I've forgotten names of people l've known for years and talk to them regularly. Reply 1.4k ...

17.

Text - brokendowndryer • 6h Flirting I am so bad at it when l'm trying. I'm such an awkward person. I'm good at it (as in I don't realize I'm doing it) when I'm not trying. Reply 347 ...

18.

Text - fabtortilla • 6h Drawing maps to illustrate parts of the world l'm talking about when I lecture. I'm hilariously hopeless at geography. Reply 39 ...

19.

Text - rollzrobbz • 6h Recognize people in different environment Reply 1.2k

20.

Text - JuiceBox1 • 5h Spelling. My goal is to spell a word, not correctly, but correctly enough so that the predictive text can figure it out, and can show me the real spelling of the word. I often fail even at that though, so my last resort is always Google...

21.

Text - DayDrmBlvr82• 5h Telling jokes. I always tell the punch line too soon or bastardize it in such a way that it's no longer funny. The hubs always gives me grief. Reply 1 61 ...

22.

Text - SopfieCOntrolefreak • 5h Gaming, I have so many friends who want to game with me, and when I say yes they try to be polite but end up laughing at me... :,-) Reply 56 ...

23.

Text - AzyCrw4282 · 5h Maintain good conversation with a girl. Reply 25 ...

24.

Text - shabutaru118• 5h Golfing. I went to the drive range with my dad once, I was so terrible other people stopped playing just to watch me suck. People who were paying to be there decided I was more entertaining than playing. Reply 20 ...

25.

Text - foreverlovetheq22 • 5h Finding my keys, wallet, and phone right before I have to leave Reply 13 ...

26.

White - Russian_Terminator • 5h Making people like me Reply 14 ...

27.

Text - Goldfinch • 3h Drawing. I've given it serious effort in the past, but I still botch things as basic as shapes and stick figures. Reply ...

28.

Text - _brittleskittle• 6h Golf, I just can't figure out what to do with my arms. Reply ...

29.

Text - heystellaaa • 5h Cooking a steak. I screw it up Every. Time. Reply ...

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Times People Were Next Level Clueless


Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the world's most clueless individuals. Sometimes we cross paths with people that seem like they're in dire need of an instruction manual for life. Some folks really do need you to spell it out for them. 

1.

Text - Rottenox • 11h I'm an identical twin, and have been asked all manner of utterly ridiculous questions about it throughout my life. But I think the stupidest was when a girl once asked me "do you ever get yourselves mixed up with each other?" I responded "are you asking me if I ever sometimes think I'm my brother?" she replied, "yeah." No. I don't. Reply 2.5k ...

2.

Text - frankenstein_73 • 11h "I can't use this I'm left handed" It was a fucking shovel and I was the idiot that thought a left handed shovel existed. Reply 5.2k ...

3.

Text - aeon318 • 12h Someone in my history class argued that Mussolini was a type of pasta Reply 12.3k ...

4.

Text - breathelikeatree • 13h My friend is allergic to walnuts. One day, he made this sandwich in our college dorm. It had walnuts garnished on top of the bread. i then remember him telling me "oh look there's walnuts on here" and proceeds to eat the entire sandwich. (At the time I didn't know he was allergic). I leave to shower and when I come back there are two paramedics in our dorm taking him out on a stretcher. The following day I asked what happened to which he replies something along the

5.

Text - nakednfamous- • 11h I work for Parks Canada in Yoho National Park. I have been asked the question (seriously), "Where do you keep the animals at night?" twice in my career. To this day I still find great joy imagining what they thought was going on each night as we "collected" every large animal in the Parks. Reply 1 13.6k

6.

Text - KenKaneki94• 13h Had someone ask me "is Europe on Earth?" Reply 11.6k ...

7.

Text - AstaticDynamic• 9h This was my first experience in retail where I learned what many customers would be like. Seasons were changing, so we put a lot of shirts we had to get rid of in the front and made them 50% off. I was working the register when a woman came up to buy her things. I rang her up and could see a look on her face like something was wrong. That's when the following happened. Lady: "Why is this so much." Me: "Pardon me?" Lady: "This should only be $10 not $20." I thought that

8.

Text - AUSpartan37 • 11h Summer camp counselor made all the kids on a school bus keep the windows up on a hot day because "they could feel the Air Conditoning" coming from the front of the bus. It was so hot and I (maybe 10 years old at the time) had to explain to the 40 year old counselor that the "air conditioning" they were feeling was the wind coming in through the bus drivers open window. She still didn't believe me. I begged her to ask the bus driver to confirm the bus did not have air con

9.

Text - mythirdpersonality • 13h I worked at a meat desk for a summer job, and a woman came in and asked if we had any meat without spices or sauces. She then proceeded to tell us that "the doctor" had said that her dogs got sick because she kept feeding them pizza and they couldn't handle the spices. She then said "oh but they love pizza so much, I feel bad for them. I'm probably still gonna feed them pizza" Reply 1 16.2k ...

10.

Text - BroomStickLegend • 10h S 8 9 3 Awards Back when the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster happened we were discussing how the reactor had failed in a science class. 5 minutes into the conversation a girl piped up and said "I don't see what the big deal is. Why can't we just regrow it?" She dead ass thought a nuclear power plant was... A plant Reply 9.8k ...

11.

Text - IWasSayingBoourner • 11h There was a girl in my high school who forced the teacher to pause a documentary about people living in mud huts in Africa because she was upset that they were showing us fictional movies in a history class. It took everyone else in the room to convince her that people actually live like that in some places. Wealthy area living for ya. Reply 1 7.4k ...

12.

Text - Yeahlprobablydidit • 13h A friend didn't have coins for a vending machine but did have a dollar. She folded up the dollar and forced it into the coin slot and then did not understand why she did not get her item. For me: I had a concussion and was getting X-rays taken. They gave me a lead blanket to wrap around my twig and berries. I took it and wrapped it around me like a cape. I could not understand what they wanted me to do. Reply 8.7k ...

13.

Text - dwintaylor • 11h Ahhh, at the time I was working at a grocery store that had a Coinstar machine. Basically you could place all of your unwrapped change in it and it would be converted for a small fee that you could use for actual cash. I was walking past and noticed a women struggle with the machine. I stopped to help her, turns out she had accidentally hit "Spanish" as a language selection. I quickly explained what she needed to do figuring she couldn't read Spanish (we were in the US) a

14.

Text - saoirse_eli • 13h Ex flatmate cancelled the gas and electricity contract because it was too expensive. Wondered why we had no more electricity nor gas. She thought we paid 90€ a month to get a hotline 24/7 in case of problem. Reply 32.0k ...

15.

Text - AliCracker • 13h Rescued a coworker on the side of the road with a flat tire, waiting for the tow truck, I pointed out the nail at the top of their tire. They scoffed and looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world and exclaimed that's not true bc it's flat at the bottom I just walked away and never brought it up again Reply 24.0k ...

16.

Text - lauraligator • 12h I once worked in a midwestern grocery store deli and I was trying to explain to a woman that the name brand and generic brand of the macaroni salad that we carried were in fact identical. The woman yelled at me saying she could only have the generic brand because "one is made with mayo and the other is made with mayonnaise and I don't like mayo". When I tried to explain that mayo is an abbreviation of mayonnaise, she just said "I'm from the south, I know my food" and tu

17.

Text - Roybutt • 13h The time a friend told me how much he hates potatoes....while eating French fries and I literally blew his mind by telling him French fries are potatoes.. Reply 13.8k ...

18.

Text - theWildBore • 14h My boss asked me to file the spam mail. This man was one of those people who think they are the smartest person in the room. So spam folder Okay... weird, but okay. I couldn't find any spam mail that wasn't already in the spam folder. Afternoon comes and he stomps over to my desk area and wants to know why the spam isn't in the spam folder as he throws a Manila folder on my desk. The folder was labeled spam. He prints spam mail out and files it. And with any sign of skep

19.

Text - |Am_Justin_Tyler • 11h I got a bad grade in geography in highschool, my teacher kept trying to push me and suggested I talk to my parents about it. I told my mom I was failing geography and she said "how fucking stupid can you really be Justin, how do you fail geography it's just shapes" I'll never forget that one. Reply 252 ...

20.

Text - QalliMaaaaa • 12h Knew a girl in middle school that didn't understand the concept of perspective She also thought North was whichever direction you were facing at the time Reply 13.1k

21.

Text - HesherPiney • 12h Once in middle school, I simply could not get the concept of the phrase "The day after tomorrow" through to a kid. He couldn't wrap his mind around it.

22.

Text - kolbyrdenham • 11h I worked at a pet store in college. This customer asked me which food would make his pit bull "swole." I suggested a high protein food with a good amount of exercise but advised that a lot of it was determined by the dog's genetics. He asked me if we sold genetics. Reply 28.3k ...

23.

Text - Hrekires • 13h A coworker started to think that he was going to be fired, but instead of trying to improve his performance or at least waiting to be fired so he could collect unemployment, he just walked off the job during his lunch break and left his badge/work phone on his desk. Reply 1.1k ...

24.

Text - honeypiehorses • 12h I moved to the UK from Germany. A guy asked me if we had colours in Germany. Reply 483 ...

25.

Text - Lucille68 • 13h A few years ago my roommate was accepted to NYU and texted me a picture of the letter and said "Finally get to see a different country!" We live in America. Reply 3.1k ...

26.

Text - poq2020 • 11h Years ago when I was hiking with my bf at the time, we saw a protective metal mesh laid outside of the fence at a cliff (in case someone trip and fall I suppose). For some reason my bf's first reaction was to hop over the fence and started jumping on the mesh, mind you the cliff is about 600 ft drop. He said he wanted to test if the metal mesh was strong enough. Reply 453 ...

27.

Text - Mirror_hsif • 12h My sister asked if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or France and couldn't understand how it could be in both...

28.

Text - DavidHaGever • 14h My teacher telling me that a "private company" is just a combination of the words private and company without really explaining the meaning of it, then telling me that I ask stupid quesitons Reply 3.1k ...

29.

Text - philldpower • 12h Me when I asked my dad if he was serious that pickles were made of cucumber. My mind was blown. Reply 1.1k 1 ...

30.

Text - SkrtSkrt42069 • 12h We were in 7th grade science class and the teacher was telling us about the vacuum of space. Dumbest girl I ever knew raised her hand and asked "if a spaceman talked into a rock and handed it to somebody, would they hear it?". The class was silent for a few seconds before our teacher explained that rocks are, in fact, not alien tape recorders.

31.

Text - friedmators • 12h Not me but a friend worked in a call center for a CC company in the disputes department. The number one item people called to say they never purchased...'Interest Charge'. Reply 13.2k

32.

Text - dwight12345 • 14h I got a concussion a while back. A friend of mine told me not to come close because it might be contagious. They weren't kidding. Reply 32.4k

33.

Text - Mear • 13h Me (when I was a kid). I had a real old transistor radio, asked my parents for a newer radio, so I could receive and listen to newer music. Reply 12.1k ...

34.

Text - ThatsPreposterous6 • 13h My friend was taking a selfie. The camera was smudged, so we told him he should clean it. He then turns his phone over and began to clean the camera on the back, then turned it back over and tried to take a selfie again with the other camera Reply 2.3k ...

35.

Text - KarlsLastReMarx • 11h My 5th grade teacher told us about a classmate of theirs from college: She was really confused about why Alaska was so cold and Hawaii was so hot when they are right next to one another. He asked her what she meant by right next to each other. She thought that the maps of the continental United States (with Alaska & Hawaii pictured on the bottom-left) included the geographical location of the two states... Reply 700 ...

36.

Text - danbradberry • 10h Someone I knew thought there was literally a different moon for each continent, and that Neil Armstrong landed on the "American Moon" Reply 370 ...

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