FunnyWeb - Get Your Funniest Pix From The InterWebz!

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Dispute Over Alarm Clock Ends Entitled Aunt's Career

This aunt sounds like an absolute nightmare. She proceeded to move in with some family, and mooch off them to such an extent, while being a genuinely toxic disturbance, that the kid was left with no other choice but to take revenge. It really was more of a well deserved scenario of karmic justice. For another story about an aunt being a nasty person, check out the time Auntie Karen offered exposure as payment and got called out.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/sunnykl • 1y 1 Dispute over an alarm clock ends a career A recent petty revenge story made me remember this experience from my teenage years, but this one definitely went all the way to pro. Strap in, it's going to be long. tl;dr at end. So, just before my senior year in high school I turned 18 and bought a car with my saved up years of babysitting money. l'd have liked one sooner, but my mother absolutely refused. At 18 in my big act of teenage rebellion, I went out

2.

Text - A couple months later, Auntie Asshole suddenly left her job from several states away and moved in with us. Without her car. It cost less if she waited six months until spring to get it shipped. Something about snowbird travel patterns. She was cheap and a user as well as an asshole. As I result I was expected to share my recently acquired car with Auntie Asshole until hers arrived. This seemed deeply unfair, but nonetheless it was agreed upon that she could use it for appointments and job

3.

Text - You may be wondering about now what this has to do with an alarm clock. Auntie Asshole is one of those people who likes to rile people up, then mock them for getting pissed off. She's always got a complaint, harsh word, and is feuding with somebody over something. Once she moved in with us, her complaint was my alarm clock. My room shared a wall with hers. The alarm was waking her mooching, unemployed, broke ass up every morning, and that pissed her off. Couldn't I just go to bed earlier

4.

Text - 6:15 I leave if taking the bus to school 6:45 I leave if driving to school Half past never: Auntie asshole's unemployed toushie needs to be anywhere Auntie Asshole approached my workaholic mother about the horrific inconvenience of my using an alarm clock. Her solution was that my mother should wake me up every day at 5:30 before leaving. My mother told her to try earplugs or work it out between us. Workaholic Mother was massively non-confrontational and wanted no part of an Auntie Asshol

5.

Text - Auntie Asshole started sneaking into my room to unplug the clock after I fell asleep. I'm a hard sleeper, so she pulled this off a few times. I had a good number of tardies before I figured out it wasn't the new cat who initially got blamed. Woke up to see her standing over my bed one night. CREEPY! I screamed like a banshee waking the whole house. She claimed sleepwalking, and my mother let her get away with that lame excuse. I endeavored to solve the problem myself with some superglue.

6.

Text - She was PISSED at having not gotten her way, and never let anything go ever. Auntie Asshole's next move was to get up when the alarm went off and race into the only bathroom with a shower. It was closer to her room than mine, so she always beat me there. She'd stash magazines in there to sit on the commode reading until right around 6:20. This is after the school bus has left, but still before I need to leave driving direct. Once I was taking a very rushed shower, she'd steal my keys and

7.

Text - Needless to say I was pissed. Also massively inconvenienced, and a lot poorer. I had beg friends for last minute rides or take a cab. She continued to blame me, and my mother stayed out of it. We got into a cat and mouse game with my keys where I eventually kept them on me at all times even in the shower (this was an old car some years back; no electronic keys were harmed). The keys came in the shower with me because the counter wasn't enough to stop her from pulling the bathroom lock (po

8.

Text - The next day, my keys safely back in my possession, she pulls the shower stunt again. She did it a lot even when she wouldn't take my car. Auntie Asshole was an asshole. I head out to the driveway keys in hand, and my car's not there. Legit thought she'd hot-wired it until I got home and it showed no signs of tampering. I'm not much for poking the bear, but it was time to have this out. Auntie Asshole quite smugly admitted to copying the key, called me a selfish bitch who didn't know how

9.

Text - The next morning my car was not in the driveway. I'd expected this. My best friend's dad was a cop. I was practically a fixture in his house for a decade, and he was the closest thing I had to a father figure due to my own deadbeat dad. So I gave him a call utterly distraught that the car l've worked so hard to get has been stolen from my driveway. He's very sympathetic. Did I mention my car had LoJack? It was actually a very nice car ... back when it was new anyway. We do all the reporti

10.

Text - By mid-afternoon they'd found it in the parking lot of an outlet mall. I don't know what the full details of the encounter were as l've heard multiple versions of this part of the story over the years. She had some kind of bitch tizzy on them upon being accused of theft including a tussle with an officer. It ended in charges of grand theft auto, resisting arrest, assaulting an officer, and some kind of license-related thing because she'd never switched it to her new state of residence. Do

11.

Text - What happened after was glorious revenge. Auntie Asshole's remaining savings were used up on all the fines and court fees, so she finally got around to shipping her car and engaging in a job hunt. One problem, she was previously a teacher. She'd yet to get her certification in her new state. Now she had a rap sheet and was unable to pass the background check. Whoops! Time for a new career as a telemarketer. Auntie Asshole didn't bother me much after that. I learned years later she only we

12.

Text - And that's how a dispute over an alarm clock ended Auntie Asshole's teaching career. tl;dr: Asshole aunt moves in and can't handle an alarm clock going off in the morning. Escalates dispute to the point of regularly taking my car without permission and making me miss school. I call cop friend to report missing car. It has lojack. She's dumb enough to get into a tussle with a cop when caught. Goes to jail for a bit. Can no longer pass background check, thus loses teaching career.

Submitted by:

Tagged: school , FAIL , revenge , argument , ridiculous , education , Reddit

Share on Facebook

Nurses Take Revenge On Their Roommate

This dude vastly underestimated their nurse roommates' capacity for executing a true, glorious pro revenge. Check out another tale of roommate pro revenge with this smug roommate who wouldn't pay rent, and got defeated in court as a result.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/rustybathtub 3 3 + JOIN 2•2d How to Train your Roommate TL; DR at the bottom This is the story of how I used Pavlovian Conditioning to train my formerly obnoxious roommate to behave like a responsible adult.

2.

Text - So, the three of us are nurses and we all live in this company provided apartment. Each of us has his own room which is joined by this common area that doubles as the kitchen and dining area, but the walls are paper thin and don't provide enough sound-proofing. So, if one were to say, have loud conversations in the common area during the late hours of the night, it would resonate through all the rooms adjacent. But if you were in your own room talking to somebody, it wouldn't be heard out

3.

Text - Now, this is not a problem during the day, but at night when everyone is asleep our one obnoxious roommate always decides to have his Facebook video calls on the common room using his phone, waking everyone up with his loud conversations. And since we are nurses, we have to work in shifts, me and the second roommate work on 12- hour day shifts (8 am to 8 pm) while the third obnoxious one works on 12-hour night shifts (8 pm to 8 am). So, the third roommate tends to be awake at night. We ge

4.

Text - We tried to handle it the adult way by talking to him about it and suggesting he do his antics inside his own room since while in there we wouldn't hear his loud conversations and he wouldn't wake us up at night, especially if we have to go to work in the morning. This worked for a while, but he eventually went back to his old habits of waking us up at nights. We were getting so tired of the situation because all we wanted after a long 12-hour shift was to be able to sleep soundly, especi

5.

Text - Our Hallelujah came from an episode of The Office that I had just watched wherein Jim trained Dwight to crave a breath mint every time he restarted his computer. A lightbulb suddenly switched on in my head to use our WIFI, to train my noisy roommate. Nobody else knew that I had admin privileges, I just happened to be there when the guys installed it and they gave me the key. I realized that I had access to our WIFI network wirelessly on my phone and could turn it on and off on a whim like

6.

Text - My MO was simple, every time I get woken up by noisy roommate taking his internet calls in the common room, I would turn off the WIFI of the whole house and wait until he goes back to his room before turning it on again. The training took months and countless late nights. After getting woken up at night by said roommate I would wait for an opportune time, usually while he is in deep loud conversation with someone, to turn off the WIFI, then wait to him to get annoyed and curse our service

7.

Text - The loud late-night calls in the common room became less and less until he no longer took them in the common room at all. This translated to silent nights for me and the second roommate who had to work in the mornings. My method was so effective that he actually thought that there was a problem with his phone. Sometime later, he wanted to show me a video of something on his phone but said that I had to come to his room for him to show me since there was a problem with it and it wouldn't w

8.

Text - ImpressivelyLost • 2d It's kinda sad how often a study on teaching dogs a trick is successful in training humans. Kinda makes you wonder how smart we really are.

Submitted by:

Tagged: satisfying , nurse , revenge , Reddit , roommates

Share on Facebook

Most Polite Ways To End Conversations

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about the most effective, polite ways to shut down conversations with persistent chatterboxes. We've all been there, busy just trying to muddle through a day, maybe in a rush to get somewhere, and then you cross paths with the immovable, breathless, object that is a passionate chatterbox. It's as if they are so involved in venting to you or whatever ears are around, that they're incapable of seeing the clear sign that nobody wants to hear what they have to say. Consider trying out these polite conversation enders the next time you fall prey to a chatterbox in the wild.