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Wednesday, June 24, 2020

People That Screwed Themselves Over In Court

Someone on AskReddit got a thread going about various people that were their own worst enemies in court. Some criminally dumb criminals just seem to ask for it. For more absurdity from the courtroom check out these ridiculous overheards during court proceedings.

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Text - abunchofsquirrels • 4d Unfortunately my best story for this is from my own client. We had a client who was on the board of directors for a company, and was being sued for allegedly not telling the board something. His part of the case was really only a smaller part of a larger and more complicated case, so while there were a lot of other issues in the case overall, the entire case against him specifically essentially boiled down to whether or not he told the board about X. I and few other

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Text - EducatedOwlAthena • 3d Years ago I worked in personal injury, and we had a woman come to us saying that she slipped and fell outside of a nail salon because they hadn't swept up the wet leaves outside the door. So we take the case, and almost immediately we get a call from opposing counsel saying he's going to courier us something important. We open it, pop the disc in the computer, and right there is security cam footage of our client picking up the wet leaves, putting them on the sidewa

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Text - quelindolio • 3d I was tangentially involved in a custody dispute. Dad alleged mom was doing all sorts of things and he should have the kid. Dad's attorney grilled mom for about 20 minutes on texts she had sent claiming to sell her prescriptions. She wouldn't admit it. Dad's attorney moved on and eventually ended with, "One more question. Where did you get the pills you were selling." Mom responds without thinking, "Oh my doctor prescribed them." Reply 1 1.8k ...

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Text - devinple • 3d Had a bylaw officer harass me almost constantly for 8- months for violating a by-law: I had parked my motorcycle in my driveway. He ordered me to remove it, and tried to levy fines for the violation. He went after my landlord and tried to get me evicted. Eventually, I got a lawyer and filed a complaint. When asked to point to the bylaw I was breaking, he did and even read it out, which basically read: No parking or storing anything in a driveway other than an automobile. He

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Text - McCarty898 • 3d My father as a young lawyer was trying to get a case to take place in one state and not another because the insurance laws were more favorable in state A. The company he was in litigation with wanted it in state B for that reason, and claimed they only distributed in state A but had no locations in it and should not have to go to court in state A. Well this company was a soda company and my dad has a major diet soda addiction, he goes through at least a 12 pack a day. So t

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Text - throwRA1a2b3c4d1 • 4d When my client filed a restraining order against his ex and then asked me to leverage the restraining order just so he could get back with her. In our state, if you do this, you'll have to pay the other persons attorneys fees. Reply 552 ...

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Text - Not a lawyer but this story still applies. My parents have a jewelry store and the landlord was trying to extort them to sign a lease for nearly double what it was appraised for. Problem was, the lease they signed and the landlord signed said when they renewed the lease both parties were to get their own appraiser then meet in the middle of what the two prices were. Landlord didn't like what his appraiser said so he refused to tell my parents what the appraisal was. So for two years he se

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Text - ELAKSAVKD • 3d My phone rang in court and forgot to put it on silent. The ringtone was the mortal kombat theme song. Reply 1 587 ...

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Text - MisterMarcus • 3d A law professor once told me about a case from decades ago when he was defending a young woman on drugs charges. In court, his line of defence was basically to tell the truth: this woman had turned to drugs due to trauma and instability in her life, but she was now in a steady loving relationship with another woman. For the first time, she had some peace and security in her life, genuinely working on overcoming her demons, and was unlikely to re-offend again. was It was

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Text - Belgian_friet • 3d Not a lawyer, but a law student. This was in a case that my professor showed us in class. Some guy was accused of something, I cannot remember what, but the judge spoke him free because there wasn't enough evidence he had done it. Guy said "thank you judge, l'll never do it again". DA appealed and got him convicted Reply 681 ...

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Text - Not a lawyer, recent law school grad studying for the bar. This happened summer after my first year of law school, I was making a court appearance as a student attorney (basically, a rule in my state that lets students practice under attorney supervision). I was working with the public defender's office, representing a client at a first appearance on a probation violation/bail hearing. On a probation violation, the judge is allowed to hold a defendant without bail (keep them in jail until

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Text - I once had an idiot client who put out a public statement announcing that a subordinate had resigned. Then the subordinate announced that he had not resigned, and furthermore, had no intention of resigning. Then my idiot client put out an email announcing that he had fired the subordinate. Then I had to advise my idiot client that he didn't have the right to fire the subordinate. Then I had to explain to my idiot client that he couldn't fire the man because he is not my idiot client's sub

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Tagged: Criminally Dumb Criminal , FAIL , cringe , askreddit , ridiculous , Reddit , illegal , stupid

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Entitled People and Their Preposterous Demands

Whether you're trying to find a job, practice your craft, give away some scrap metal or just selling a lawnmower, you could run into one of these entitled folks and their ludicrous demands. It's gotta be free, close to free, or delivered for free, and get ready to have abuse hurled at you the whole time. A boss, family member or complete stranger could be an entitled person with unreasonable demands.

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Text - Hello, i saw your ad foe the ps4. 00:48 How wonderful! I'm currently selling it for 150 dollars. 00:49 I feel like that's a bit high, can we go down to around 50 dollars? I don't have that much money. 00:50 No, sorry. Im pretty firm on my price. I can't go that low, im really sorry. 00:51 Fuck you 00:51 Im sorry, i can go down to 130, is that fine? 00:51 You only went down 20 dollars? Seriously? Im having a rough time. 50 dollars. 00:53 Oh, shut the fuck up. If you're having it "rough" yo

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Text - Local Guide 51 reviews 22 photos a year ago On this hot memorial day weekend I was told I can no longer get a the family military discount of 10%. because I am the son-in-law of a military veteran that served in Vietnam. The discount is only for the military individual. It's pretty cold to offer a veteran a discount for him and his family only to take it back and say not anymore. it was a small way of saying thank you for over the past years but starting today, we (Lowe's Corp.) are no lo

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Text - レ 30 May My neighbors. They have a huge driveway I asked if my kids could ride bike in the drive way and she said no and they have a big pool to for hot weather and they said we can't use it so annoying Posted in Recommendations to 30 neighbourhoods Thank OComment 57 Q137

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Text - today 14.28 Hi! I'm here from your post about pet commissions and wanted to say they're so cute I would like to get one for my new puppy :) Hello! That sounds great, and thank you so much! Aight cool, should I send reference pics? Sure, but l'd like to settle on a price first if that's ok Bruh you're still charging during quarantine? Wack Sorry? I mean we're in a pandemic Imao and you're out here charging people for art I mean.. that's what I do. I'm not making people buy my stuff, but im

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Text - 11:51 O 25° • diabetes strips CB 1d Hey, a friend told me you are giving away free diabetes strips. Can I have them? ME 1d Sorry, I already arranged to have them delivered to someone earlier today. 1d Oh, I really needed them. If you already gave them away, can you just send me the money for those strips? I can do PayPal or Venmo. Each pack costs about $100. 1h Umm... Sorry, I just had a few extra boxes of strips. I don't have that much money just lying around. Reply to message

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Text - D 35 Hey! Here are my non negotiable dealbreakers so don't swipe right if you: Are short (less than 5'11 or 180cm) Live with your parents (or have within the last 5 years) Have roommates Have never been out of country Do not go on 2+ vacations a year Watch MMA or Boxing Like anime Don't have a clean home Vork less than 30 hours a week Will need to work past the age of 65 Have ever cheated Have kids Have a cat/ cats Don't love Méxican food Are awkward in person Do not take initiative

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Green - 3:26イ 3:264 3:26マ +1 (269 +1 (26 +1 (26 Craigslist. Is the scrap metal still available? uveI a U rue uIve HUIII yuur location. I'l be home around 5:30 if you're able to drop the metal off to me. we're gonna be back here tomorrow and Saturday! Just let me know. Hi there, yes it is! We got lots, feel free to stop by any time before 6 today to pick some out :) Why not just drop off the pieces on the back of the truck to me? 1 am 5 minutes away. I don't have Oh, I'm so sorry I think we had a

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Text - Holidappy Tip #5. Have A Free Photographer A professional photographer can easily cost you around $800 - $3,000. Now that is a waste of good money. As photographers run their own business, you may want to approach them and strike a bargain: cover your wedding and they can use it as a platform to advertise their business. That is a win-win situation there. If that does not work out, try to look for a budding photographer in your family or perhaps, that friend of yours who is brilliant when

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Text - $450 31047, Kathleen Hi! Is it still availabl200.00 good work contactblee? 15:24 Yea nah not for 200 good luck elsewhere 15:25 wow that's exactly like the lawn mower my grandfather was using when he had a heart attack and died 16:10 Damn that sucks. 16:11 500.00 16:11 w

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Text - Cuttings and plants • $2 Label Chat Mark as Sold I really dont like to be ignored, especially since im trying to buy something from you. Is what I circled available or what??? Not with that attitude it's not. I'm sorry, l've had a very busy last two weeks, as if that's even your business. Thats not my problem. Youre selling something, people are gonna message, so respond. It's obvious you dont need my money. Thanks for nothing. Youve been reported as well. I'm not a business lady. Just a

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Text - Mark as Sold More Options Me Is this still available? I can give you pretty much however many you would like but to warn you they need a lot of space when grown, and should be grown in a greenhouse or under a cloche Is it free Possible frer Free Yeah, they're free as long as you'd be happy to pick them up No thanks i no more need Okay How many would you like? Delivery possible pls Needed free delivery If you pay for them I'll deliver them They're literally free How many can u give Its fin

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Text - 10:14 AM Are still selling that used iPhone 10? Yes, what about about it? How much is it? $450 Can we do $30 I said $450 and I'm sticking to $450 Fuck you Do you want the phone or not? The thing isn't even in that good quality. Burn in hell Well your ass is negotiating the the price by a crazy amount. We can do $430 $20 discount? Fuck you and your phone Double tap to like Message.. +,

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Text - 09:47 Message Report $4,500 11 h ago Hey that's too expensive drop the price so I can buy it 1h ago Lol what would work for you? 32 min ago The lowest Message...

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Text - Bring me food and l'll pay yoy You* Likeee taco truck No. You blocked me because I wouldn't give you 50 bucks. Now you want to use me JAN 18 AT 5:33 PM Lmao offering to pay isnt using you. You are a tool though lol

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Tagged: demands , wtf , complaints , demanding , lol , entitled , cheap , money , choosing beggar

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Important Twitter Thread On Living With Depression

Andy Richter decided to call out a Twitter troll after their insensitive remark regarding depression. He handles the glaring display of ignorance in glorious fashion. Saying "cheer up" to someone living with depression is on par with telling a person who has asthma to "just breathe."

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Text - Andy Richter O @AndyRichter Oh really? Well "go fuck yourself" is a directive. asia @_asiastabler depression is a choice <>

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Text - Andy Richter O @AndyRichter Quote-responding to this tweet may seem like shooting fish in a barrel, & yet it is 30 mins later & I have pulled over after school drop-off to respond further becausel am angry.

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Text - Andy Richter O @AndyRichter Thave been followed by an ever- present amorphous sadness for almost my entire life. I am 51 yrs old. It varies in strength from a casual unresolvable suspicion that I will never find the joy that others do in a sunset, to the feeling that being dead might a respite & a kindness

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Text - Andy Richter @AndyRichter I've been on meds for decades. I'm a devout believer in the talking cure of therapy & it's structure & hope & absolutely life-saving sense of progress. I have a successful career. I'm in love w my wife of 27 yrs, & my 2 kids are the best ppl I know. My life is full. I am lucky

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Text - Andy Richter O @AndyRichter And I will still reach the end of my life having walked through most of it with an emotional limp. I do not wallow in self-pity. No one did this to me. It is just how it is. I am just unlucky.

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Text - Andy Richter @AndyRichter "Depression is a choice" = "your pain is your fault" "You can overcome this if you just try hard enough" = "Your pain is making me uncomfortable. Please shut up."

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Text - Andy Richter O @AndyRichter If you are unburdened by depression, real true depression, count yourself lucky. Keep your quick fixes to yourself. This is the kind of bullshit that kills people. Learn, then speak. Or just be lucky and quiet. <>

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Tagged: twitter , andy richter , emotional , depression , mental health , social media , celeb

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Stupidest Things People Did to Prove They Could

People are absolutely terrific at doing stupid things. Whether it's eating 17 donuts, climbing through a bunch of poison ivy, or eating the hottest chicken sandwich ever, you can bet that people will do real dumb junk just to prove it to themselves. Here are more people's dumbest high risk, low reward moments.

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Text - UniversalPolymath 27.0k points · 12 hours ago F2 & 5 More My partner was a heavy smoker, and at the time, I'd never touched a cigarette. I would subtly-and sometimes not-so-subtly, but always lovingly-urge her to quit. She told me I had no idea how hard it was. I decided to take up smoking for about a month and then quit just to show her I could do it. That was ten years ago. I'm on a pack a day. She no longer smokes.

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Text - Skarface08 26.7k points · 14 hours ago 12 Cliff diving, saw a old man do a front flip off a 40 foot cliff. I said if he can do it, so can I. I did the flip alright, followed by a belly flop that Zeus could hear. Knocked the air out of me, but luckily people were floating near by to save my dumb ass.

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Text - Queen-of-Beans 17.3k points · 13 hours ago In 2001, my sister got me a Sony phone, a tiny little thing with a flip down front. She worked in a phone shop and got discount. On the box, it said the phone was waterproof and there were tiny rubber seals in places. I believed them. At the pub where I worked, this aspect came up in conversation. Some guy said the phone couldn't be waterproof, and that shower proof was probably more accurate. Remembering the box, I argued the point... And droppe

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Text - Hellboy32607 15.3k points · 13 hours ago Walked through the brush of our treeline to get a football to prove it wasn't poison ivy. I did it. I got the football. It was poison ivy.

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Text - MasterOfOne 14.4k points · 12 hours ago · edited 2 hours ago I used to work at a shitty movie theatre. As it gets to midnight all the employees hang out behind the concessions counter and shoot the shit, eat the popcorn before we have to throw it out, etc. One of them dared someone to do a butter shot. But like, the liquid butter for popcorn is way closer to straight oil. So an oil shot. I'm always a slut for attention so I said pass it to me and I downed it without letting myself think a

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Text - _citizenzero 13.0k points · 12 hours ago Won a doughnut eating contest. In 10 minutes I ate about 17 doughnuts, and seconds before the time was up and I had all my thoughts set on having a hearty cleansing puke a motherfucker who wasn't even taking part yelled that throwing up afterwards should disqualify you. Somebody counted that I took in a few days worth of calories. My appetite came back two days after.

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Text - mixedwithmonet 35.1k points · 12 hours ago A buddy bet I couldn't finish the spiciest chicken sandwich at this joint known for insanely spicy chicken in under 30 minutes. I knew I fucked up when they gave me gloves to eat the sandwich so the sauce couldn't touch my skin and made me sign a waiver. Won the bet, but really I lost in the end.

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Text - thefuzzybunny1 451 points · 14 hours ago In college the choir I worked for sent out an invitation for a "sweats only" party. This was clearly intended to mean "comfy/casual dress", but a rumor got started that it meant you were only supposed to wear sweatpants, no shirt. The leader of the club issued a clarification, but since we were all college students, she also found it funny to say "you absolutely can wear shirts to the party... But you don't have to!" I joked to another friend that,

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Text - Hailene2092 10.8k points · 14 hours ago · edited 10 hours ago Parents put a curfew on the computer when I was -12 during summer break. No gaming from 10pm-бат. A reasonable person would go to bed at 10-10:30 and wake up at 7 to play, right? 12 year old me just steed stayed up until 6am, woke up my parents, and played until noon. Then died until dinner. Rinse and repeat for a few days until my parents got sick of waking up at 6am. Then I went back to gaming until like 2am.

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Text - steffinator117 9.1k points · 11 hours ago I was about 4 years old and my grandfather was making something with buttermilk. I saw it in his hand, and I cried and screamed and begged to have some. He kept saying "No, you won't like it!", but I persisted. He finally poured me an entire glass. I took one swig and I'm sure he could see the disgust on my face, because he looked like he had won. I stared at him right in his eyeballs as I chugged the entire glass.

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Text - brother_meowzone 7.9k points · 11 hours ago 3 In grade school, maybe age 11 or 12, I had these cheap jeans. I figured out that I could flex my belly and pop the button open, found this funny and guy friends in class got a laugh too. One of them turns to a girl, hey girl checkout what OP can do; I flex my belly and let out a huge fart while the button popped open. She turned away, my buddy laughed, and i never did this trick again

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Text - movealongnowpeople 7.9k points · 15 hours ago I stabbed my leg with a pencil in elementary school. I told people I couldn't really feel much pain (which, at the time, was true). There was a spot on my leg from the lead for years.

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Text - DemiDork231 7.5k points · 10 hours ago I told my 6th grade friends I could just off a two story roof and not get hurt. Guess who only got a scraped knee that day? Not me. I broke my leg

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Text - quietfirefox 5.2k points · 14 hours ago Ate the largest box of goldfish in one night in college. Don't do this.

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Text - Seqouyagjones0405 3.4k points · 15 hours ago Snuck into The Hilton and confiscated a white robe, got caught and they let me go without checking my backpack. That's alcohol for you.

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Text - Iskilado 3.0k points · 13 hours ago I was learning MMA for 3 months when some guy challenged me to a fight I immediately accepted it because I wanted to impress my crush by beating him. Turns out he was a national champion and was in the state for a MMA tournament. I got my ass kicked for solid 3 rounds

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Text - crazycajun660 2.8k points · 13 hours ago Did 5 pull up's on an antenna strut 400 feet up on an antenna tower not tied off.

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Text - hellbentforleisure 2.4k points · 12 hours ago 3 As a kid I told my friends I could hold my breath for a long time, long enough to pass out, in fact. And that's exactly what I proceeded to do.

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Text - littleredhoodlum 623 points · 11 hours ago I can do a standing back flip. The best time to prove this isn't when your 7 drinks deep wearing a short bridesmaids dress and underwear made for speed not comfort. Yep brides grandma got to see my ass but I landed it perfectly.

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Text - outdoorcobbler 494 points · 11 hours ago Not me, but my dad's friend. They were all sitting around being dumb drunk rednecks. And one of them was like, "I betcha I can get this entire beer can down in one of them there coke bottles." Then proceeded to do it by shredding the can by hand, cutting his fingers to shit in the process. But damn it, he got it all in there, piece by stupid piece.

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Text - adipocerousloaf 304 points · 11 hours ago The splits. I weigh 263 fucking pounds.

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Text - gentlesir123 1.2k points · 16 hours ago Crushing beers on my forehead. Still stupid. I'll still do it.

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Text - Sleepdprived 1.3k points · 14 hours ago Remained standing through as much taser as possible. My friend used up the battery on himself and said he was trying to "get used" to it... he said that eventually he would be able to remain standing... i said what the hell and tried... its not easy fighting electro convulsive action. We tasted ourselves and each other a bunch of times... i don't think we got better at resisting it. ( I say taser bit I really mean stun gun no prongs)

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Text - oktetus 1.3k points · 14 hours ago There comes a point in every (drunk) man's life where he finds himself standing on the edge of a precipice (apartment building roof) staring into the distance at glory (a fucking tree) separated from him by a challenge (a three story fall). The weak man will shrug his shoulders. slink back to safety, and carry on with his night as if he never glimpsed what could have been. But the bold (stupid) man will look across the chasm and see the greatness that aw

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Tagged: proof , wtf , FAIL , ridiculous , dumb , idiots , stories , mistake , stupid

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