Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Son Discovers Mom Lied About Allergies to Keep Him on Strict Diet


Modern life gives us a huge amount of liberty over our diets, and some diets are definitely more healthy than others. Often parents are trying to keep their kids safe and healthy as best they can, but it seems like lying to your kid about a life-threatening allergy isn't the right way to go about it. It's kinda reminiscent of these vegans who were called fake because they feed their cat meat. Sometimes the exact opposite of this happens, like when this Tumblr user realized they actually had allergies.

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Questionable Hair Decisions Getting Roasted


Hairstyles are a convenient and striking form of self expression. Sometimes they say "Hey look I'm a real cool guy" and other times they say "I have made a mistake and I look like a 90's video game character." Some bold hairstyles are not gonna catch on, but at least these ones have the benefit of being entertaining.

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Facial hair - Barber: What kinda cut you want? Guy: Ever played Minecraft? Barber: Say no more fam

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Hair - Barber : what cut you want bruh Him : lemme get dat sperm cell Barber : i gotchu b

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Hair - Barber: What you want? Him: I need to defeat Frieza Barber: Say no more STARECAT.COM

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Hair - BARBER: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "YOU REMEMBER THE GRAPHICS FROM GOLDENEYE?" BARBER: "SAY NO MORE" EGAMING

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Hair - Barber: What hairstyle do you want? Me: You ever seen veggie tales? Barber: Say no more! ODeuteronome memes I want to be one with the vegetables.

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Hair - Barber: What you want? Her: Gimme that 7 kill streak Barber: Say no more February 23

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Hair - What you want? @BarberPosts Following Barber: What do you want? Him: Well, I just saved 15% on my car insurance...

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Hair - Barber: "What you want?" Guy: "you know when you push play dough out of a mold" Barber: "I gotchu fam" @OverlyUsedMemes

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Hair - Barber: What you want? Him: Idk, just do it Barber: Say no more NIKE

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Hair - Barber: What you want? Me: I got my mind on my money and my money- Barber: SAY NO MORE

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Hair - barber: what kind of cut you want? "i wana be the very best like no one ever was" barber: say no more, i got chu maverick ishdar

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Hair - Barber: "Whatchu want, Luda?" Luda: "You ever been to Disney World?" Barber: "Say no more, fam." imgfilip.com

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Hair - Barber: what kind of cut you want? Him: give me that windows XP startup logo Barber: say no more

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Face - Barber: What you want Him: let my parents know I'm growing up Barber: Say no more

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Hair - Barber: what do you want? He: you know the acorn from lce Age? Barber: say no more boredpanda.com

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Hair - HAVE YOU EVER SEEN BEE MOVIE? BARBER: SAY NO MORE FAM MEMEFUL.COM VIA 9GAG.COM

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Hair - Barber: What you want bro? Guy: You ever eat a panini? Barber: Say no more fam

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Hair - Barber: "what you want?" Him: "just make sure I can see the haters coming" Barber: "got ya fam"

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Hair - # 1 Failson 2. Follow @notc ollin barber: what do you want? guy: to save the princess barber: say no more fam

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Hair - Barber: Whatchu want? Him: I wanna be shunned & avoided like the plague. Barber: Say no more. imgflip.com

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Hair - Barber: What do you want? Her: I need people to know I am DTF. Barber: "Say no more"

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Face - Barber: "what do you want?" Him: "ahh give me that Squilliam Fancyson." Barber : "say no more fam." IG: BarberMemes

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Hair - Barber: what kinda cut you want? He: ever seen the moon? Barber: say nO more...

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Hair - Man: Who lives in pineapple under the sea? Barber: say no more.

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Baking - Barber: what do you want? He: dunno, but I really like Reese's Barber: say no more boredpanda.com

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Tagged: hair , fashion , haircut , lol , style , roast , silly , insult , dumb , funny

Wild Things People Overheard While Pretending to Be Asleep


Maybe it's better to be a heavy sleeper, so you don't hear your parents and friends say damaging crap about you. Maybe it's better to hear it and know what they think? Either way, people really need to do a better job of keeping things to themselves. Here are things that people overheard through paper-thin walls as well as the kindest things people overheard about themselves.

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Text - 3-methylbutylacetate 7.2k points · 2 days ago My grandparents won $10000 at the casino, and they told all of their children (and presumably gave them some of that money) except my dad. My dad is a dick so I didn't tell him either.

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Text - f4te 3.1k points · 2 days ago parents discussing the gift that "Santa" had got for me for Christmas O

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Text - BigRedCowboy 1.5k points · 2 days ago When I was a kid, I was pretending to sleep in the car. I was in the backseat, next to my older sister. I was probably six or seven, so she would have been around 13. She let out a raunchy, all windows down, gag the rest of the car sort of fart. It was loud, but we were both in the back. She immediately blames it on me farting in my sleep. The whole car laughs and rolls down their windows, and I stayed "asleep". No one to this day knows that it was he

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Text - YaBoiStego 1.4k points · 2 days ago When I was a kid, I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed. It made me feel more comfortable. One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn't supposed to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me, so I pretended to be asleep. He came in to my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds, then came up clo

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Text - whiteblaze-22 36.8k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago 合26 Something like “She's too old for this, I'm not going to carry her up to bed anymore". and that was the last time I was magically transported from the living room couch to my bedroom.

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Text - Orrblunk 30.8k points · 2 days ago F2 Old roommates planning to kick me out.

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Text - ClumsyValkyrie 30.3k points · 2 days ago e I was a camp counselor... two girls very much liked to make hot or not lists. One of them suggested a male counselor was hot, and the other said he was saying mean things about me behind my back, which made him not hot. Hurt to hear that from my campers, but glad they supported me.

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Text - FeedBean6 27.6k points · 2 days ago That I was dying with Meningitis but jokes on the doctors I'm still kicking

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Text - Needyouradvice93 19.0k points · 2 days ago · edited 2 days ago E O My parents discussing whether or not I was gay, and exploring where they went wrong with raising me (too many hugs). Edit: this really blew up and I've got a lot of people wondering whether or not I'm gay. For the record, I am straight and have had sex with a bunch of girls! Take that mom and dad.

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Text - lemonricesoup99 18.8k points · 2 days ago Before I got divorced. Was laying in bed late (11am or so) on my day off, after a long string of I think 10 or so work days in a row. My ex (who refused to get a job) was in the next room playing a video game, and I heard him say "that motherfucking bitch is still sleeping"

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Text - bodymeat_112 18.4k points · 2 days ago My "friends" talking about going into my wallet later and steal my money, and then leave before I notice, I kicked them out

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Text - Memerchild 3.2k points · 2 days ago I was doing a all nighter with the boys (gaming of course) I fell a sleep at some point playing Minecraft creative, and woke up to "How often do you guys pleasure your selves"

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Text - Runs_N_Goses 18.3k points · 2 days ago 2 My mom and aunt talking, thinking 10 year old me was asleep. Aunt, "Little Runs_N_Goses is so cute." Mom, " No, he's not very good looking at all."

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Text - bota08 12.7k points 2 days ago When I was a wee tot, I pretended to be asleep in the family room so I wouldn't have to actually go to ved and once my parents were distracted, I could keep watching TV. I then got to hear my dad proposition my mom for couch sex...it's been many years so I don't remember exaxtly what he said, but it was something along the lines of "hop on Pop."

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Text - anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo 12.6k points · 2 days ago Probably the funniest was on a camping trip with the boys. I have sleep apnea and use a cpap machine. I overheard a couple of my mates talking about smoking a joint and hotboxing me through the air intake of my cpap machine.

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Text - qwasymoto 11.6k points · 2 days ago I wasn't "pretending to be asleep" per se, but I was well on my way. I was under anesthesia and was fading in and out. I remember closing my eyes to help move things along. I was in a lot of pain because my appendix ruptured. This happened years ago, so I can't remember all of the details, unfortunately. I remember being moved over to an operating table(?) and they told me to take my shirt off (I think). I heard someone go, "What do you think would happ

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Tumblr Thread: Super Coffee Is Not A Great Idea


Caffeine makes you more alert, and college students want to be more alert, so naturally they take the effects of caffeine to their  limits. For more stories about people doing stupid things, here are people's high risk low reward moments. For more junk from Tumblr's trunk, here are various Tumblr Gems to keep the day moving.

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Text - pretty-boy-jon: ooswinssouffle: appropriately-inappropriate: rukafais: graveyardhorse: korrakun: my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing i knew a guy who brewed his instant coffee with monster instead of water. three cups in two hours. i think he ascended to the astral realm the survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me TABI ANECD

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Text - My final year I lived with engineering masters students. One night, I'm finishing up my final paper, I'm juuuust backing up my final copy, and my housemate's cat knocks a vase over onto my laptop. Which wouldn't be a problem except my cable had been chewed on (thanks Kobe), so the wiring was exposed. Circuits short out, I fling myself back to avoid electrocution and by the time we get the situation handled, my laptop AND my external hard drive have been fried by the surge. I mean, fried.

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Text - So off I go. By the time I make it downstairs, there's this chemical Ireek/ in the kitchen. I go in and there he is, methodically crushing caffeine pills with the bottom of a glass on a ceramic plate, periodically dusting the powder into a cooking pot. Meanwhile, his coffee pot is chugging away on the counter. As I watch, he takes the coffee pot, empties it into the cooking pot, lets THAT come to a boil and dumps in some of his Turkish coffee, AND the remaining caffeine pill powder, which

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Text - I've had three sips when it hits, and I feel my heart trip on a beat. I must have gone white cause he nods, all pleased, and points me at his laptop. Long story short, I got an week's extension, didn't sleep for five days, had a conversation with my BLINDS in SPANISH, and got a B+, with a note that it was an "engaging read and well-written, when intelligible". To this day, coffee any stronger than a pale off-beige makes my chest hurt. I honestly thought he was going to drink the coffee an

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