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Monday, May 18, 2020

Various Tumblr Gems to Keep the Day Moving

Tumble users are one part creative chaos, one part boredom, and one part sleep deprivation. Throw in some extremely specific pop culture references and you've got a recipe for some hilarious and totally random Tumblr gems. You never know what people are gonna pull out of their heads and spit out as totally random Tumblr gems to occupy existing.

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Lighting - theoldness khanos it's vegan blackmodel Recipe? officialschool organic earthy dirt deeply infused with vegan,dairy-free, gluten free milk with a hint of non GMO organic fresh grass 198,649 notes

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Text - gothammite yknow i saw an article that was like "robert pattinson standing strong against the batman hate! :)" and im like. you fools. you absolute clowns. don't you know who you're dealing with? you realize this is the man who waded through all of the twilight hate? with stride? basically brushed it off of his shoulder immediately? even as a non twilight fan in the early 2000s i knew this man would never succumb to the words of the simple minded. batman criticism means nothing to him. he

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Text - neutraldankhotel you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields 10inchflaccid what? neutraldankhotel I don't know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep 10inchflaccid hope youre okay 364,502 notes >

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Text - P i-am-a-fish everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff damaramegido hey op real quick what the Actual fuck transselkie Hey op you do realize that by actually biting a chunk of fucking soap you are in fact the one losing karo-chic y'all are just jealous that op is brave enough to monch on the forbidden chocolate... i-am-a-fish I'm living dragon-hated-art What does the forbidden chocolate taste like i-am-a-fish soap 222,639 notes A

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Text - askinnyblackman things i used to laugh at actual jokes things i laugh at now yard sard 286,579 notes

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Photo caption - someonespetturtle under communism we all have to share one toothbrush with this man 126,069 notes

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Text - toastpotent nobody: half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around* thejoanglebook OP is an optimist 103,004 notes

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Cat - arousedhoe hey does anyone know the fastest way to clean up milk that's covering every goddamn i nch of the kitchen floor saddestblogger i know a gal..she's on her way arousedhoe thanks saddestblogger #q 383,370 notes

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Text - videntefernandez we would be living in in the correct timeline if megamind had been more successful than despicable me aethernalstars #we would be living in the correct timeline #if the story of a supervillain adopting 3 kids and becoming a Dad #had been more successful than the background yellow comic relief characters #despicable me was fine it's a shame that ppl cared more abt minions than the actual plot It's true and you should say it @ghostlyboop 71,857 notes >

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Text - O spotifyofficial Spotify premium is now only $4.99 for people who have foreskin! Just send in that dick pic and get endless streaming! bird-big oh sick i knew this thing would come in handy 13,922 notes

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Text - 70slesbian we need to stop doing litterary analysis.. like maybe kafka just litteraly turned into an insect who are we to tell him that he didnt 46,217 notes

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Text - lia-wild-english School: we're continuing all classes online! My ADHD brain: oh so what you're saying is Time doesn't exist, Sleep Schedules are no longer apparent, and The Classes may still exist but only as a strange distant entity that I can no longer interact with in any meaningful way okura94 Okay, but imagine you're the teacher. That's my life rn 30,043 notes

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Face - siobhanblank-deactivated2019011 why's this site so weird about horses? they're just horses. the-descolada Are you sure siobhanblank 381,952 notes

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Text - broscarwilde Pennywise did NOT say "gay rights." OUT.COM Pennywise Is Surprisingly Anti-Queer in 'It Chapter Two' im sorry but this is THE FUNNIEST thing i ever read with my own two eyes sharpestrose im-still-in-shock They're making Hannibal evil... I shoulda seen this coming but still... I was hoping he'd be an anti-hero at least. :( bonanzajellybean HE EATS PEOPLE #this is so EMBARRASSING 41,545 notes >

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Text - izzetheking What the Heck is a mushroom?Well let me tell you... its like a plant... but stop right there...Its not a plant... its nota planet and not an animal.. Its something else... Something fucked up that we havnt ever seen before... You can eat it on a steak but its not an animal or a plant... So what is a mushrom? Its a fungits 67,531 notes

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Vertebrate - realest-asami-requiem THIS NICHE EMPTY FEET thoughtcontainment Meme culture has peaked, gang. It's all downhill from here.

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Text - vorefoot-contessa Hello tumblrinas. Did i miss much? fleetnaturals elon musk is pregnant 5,186 notes A

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Text - zackisontumblr Total Current browsers visitors are using. 31 Chrome 12 Safari 5 Firefox 2 Internet Explorer 1 Wit Wii someone is on my blog on their wii that is dedication right there zackisontumblr 2013 was a simpler time 441,072 notes

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Text - outofcontextbratz I feel so down, I can barely even bring myself to follow the arrow that's pointing towards the Smoothie Bar. * game84cube Why do I vibe with this? 15,163 notes Posted in r/tumblr by u/VUXX6078 reddit

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Text - ollieplimsolls open rp Hey can I get seven large cokes and a bbq sauce taahko is pepsi ok villneuve 'i guess' i said sulking, my amber hued orbs peering down because of gravity taahko 'ok. i hand you seven large cokes and a pepsi 233,693 notes

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Text - felwinter-deactivated20190201 my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her aminoasinine Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953) 172,061 notes >

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Font - cineastette you will not believe the date i just had physcicduckface I miss this meme physcicduckface I'm glad others also missed this meme #food 470,367 notes

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Text - generalgrievousdatingsim oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map 63,582 notes

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Text - reallyreallyreallytrying people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean mystic-bullshitt *they're reallyreallyreallytrying congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps mosticonicposts certified iconic post 357,933 notes

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Circle - swankydesserts DI 26 I went to a 90s themed party last night piesandfalcs it's a cup cake generic-housewife You know what.... 45,584 notes

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Text - r4cs0 BE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE momir You can carbon date this post by its shade of blue thefirstpaleontologist wildmuddyriver S spoonfulofcurry Follow beakybee Tumbir blue through the years. attackofthebteam computer illiteracy pride flag Source: beakybee 129.033 notes A beanskelly I'm not gonna lie I miss the days of when tumblr wasn't this deep saturated blue 111,724 notes

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Text - davidlieberman going to brine myself with sugar and salt, then hotbox my car with some nice alder wood chips to smoke myself like a salmon.... see you on the other side brother.. 29,500 notes

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Text - aquaticpaleo Neil Shubin @NeilShubin Finall...A Minecraft Tiktalik. fossils- archeology.fandom.com/wiki/Tiktaalik 6/15/19, 2:53 PM words cannot sum up my love for neil shubin whales-are-gay guys. neil shubin is the person who discovered the tiktaalik. neil shubin, actual paleontologist, discoverer of the evolutionary link between land and sea, tweeted about a minecraft mod that has his discovery in it. 44,245 notes

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Text - s-ound-wave S thedominoswizard Follow tragedycamp hamlet is about everything if you try hard enough tragedycamp "read a different play" no! 2,313 notes

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Text - snuv songs to touch the stove to 4,551 notes

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Text - Anonymous said How is your husband? the-real-rupaul He should be fine I left him with enough food and water for a week the-real-santino-rice That was two weeks ago the-real-rupaul Oh god no let me go check on him the-real-rupaul By Talos this can't be happening

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Text - lake-erie this year's prom theme is... *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them footballintuxedos And the subject of tonight's ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea 117,014 notes

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Tagged: wtf , tumblr , random memes , strange , wierd , lol , ridiculous , dumb , funny , stupid , funny tumblr

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Twitter Thread: Librarian's Insights About The General Public

This librarian offered up their various insights they've picked up from observing the general public that flows in and out of the library. All kinds of endearing moments. Whether it's the couple bickering over each other's competing tastes, or the young adult who just had their world open up upon graduating to an "adult", and being able to read anything.

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @grumpwitch Things I have learned about the general public whilst working at the library: 1. A huge number of people under 20 can't read face clocks, having grown with only digital one. dn 2. Many people don't know how to spell "library." It's in our email address. This causes problems 16:41 · 15/05/2019 · Twitter for Android 11.2K Retweets 26.2K Likes

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h Replying to @grumpwitch 3. A disturbing number of young people don't actually know how book-lending at the library works. They assume it costs money! Teach your children about libraries! 4. Crime and thriller are basically the same thing in many cases. In fact, we have doubles of books because of that. Q 21 27 294 ♡ 3,210 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h v 5. People use hidden codes like asterisks to mark which books they've read. Please don't do tha

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru.. · 22h 7. Libraries are a godsend for blind and deaf people and not just for audiobooks. They can come for help with filling out forms and getting directions. 8. Some elderly people go through books at a TERRIFYING rate. They are to be feared and respected. 25 27432 O 6,683 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h 9. Some people are so afraid of computers that they will come to you with a query and then become upset if you offer to look it up on the computer instead

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h 12. The Jobcentre regularly lie to people and like to tell them they can get services at libraries that simply do not exist. We will try our very best to help you get what you should have been given at the Jobcentre. 13 27379 O 3,722 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h 13. Most banks assume that everyone has an email now. In fact, some people have trouble proving that they exist at all without one. 14. Library folk are good folk. We do this because we a

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h v 16. Libraries remain the only place where you can spend hours in a publicly- accessible building without being expected to spend money. Parents come to entertain their children for free on wet days. People in poverty come for a warm place to sit. Libraries are a haven. 48 27 1,688 O 8,844 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru.. · 22h 17. Some people will go their entire lives only reading 2-3 authors but still have enough material to read a book every month. (Se

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h 19. We're funded based on footfall. I've seen staff cry because we lost a youth group to a private hall that has fancier facilities like a cafe. We need all the footfall we can get. O 24 27 220 ♡ 2,748 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h v 20. Staff are hitting their heads against walls volunteering to create events, classes and groups only to have them shot down because local councils don't understand social media or want to charge for it. I can't over

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2, @gru... · 22h v 22. Authors don't like to visit little libraries because they don't get paid. Bookstores often pay. 23. The "sexy librarian" trope has actually done a LOT of harm and has caused countless incidences of sexual assault by men who can't tell the difference between porn and reality. 28 27223 ♡ 2,870 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h v 24. Old ladies keep libraries in business. Old ladies who read are the best. Old ladies who can tell you exactly which

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2, @gru... · 22h 26. I'm not supposed to have favourite library users but I do: I love library couples, who bicker over each others' reading tastes or share books and then argue about the themes. 5 27 126 ♡ 2,732 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru... · 22h I also love the autistic kids with special interests. I will crawl over hot coals to get you a book about the specific type of train you are interested in, tiny child. I wil| listen to you tell me about it in great detail. I

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Text - 21st Century Gorgon 2 @gru.. · 22h v 28. And finally, because l've spammed you long enough and because my typos are mounting up, remember this: Library staff can overcome many challenges but Book Gods help you if you deprive us of caffeine. You don't want to see what happens then. O 237 27414 ♡ 7,601

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Tagged: twitter , reading , awesome , books , humanity , library , social media

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Classmates Steal Student's Work, Student Sets Them Up To Fail

Those classmates should've just done the right thing from the get go, and not gone about stealing someone else's work. Seems like the stresses of the academic world can drive some people to do some truly selfish, and insensitive things.

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Text - r/ProRevenge + Join u/Mikerue7 • 2d Half the Class Fails the Midterm after Cheaters Copy Me TL;DR at the end I don't have a problem helping classmates. I really don't. I even tutored several classmates during my final semester of undergrad because they needed the help. They all ended up passing their classes with my assistance.

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Text - This story comes from a particularly tough Business Information Systems class during my undergraduate education. The students in this class were mostly nontechnical business majors, so this new material wasn't at all similar to anything we'd learned in other classes. Needless to say, most of the students were struggling, including me. I sill had a 4.0 in college at this point (though I finished with a 3.99) and I was willing to put in max effort to keep my stellar GPA. I started studying

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Text - Several other students from my class were there and working on the same assignment I was on. Judging by the sighs of exasperation, the irritated whispers, and requests for help, they weren't having much success. Having studied relentlessly for a month, I was having an easier time of it. As I got up to go get some water from the fountain in the hall, a classmate asked for my help. I told him I could do that and l'd be right back. I returned a few minutes later to find what I can only descr

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Text - Now, I'm not an idiot, so I know the 5 people in this room probably copied my work off my computer when I went to get water. Scumbag move number one. But as it turns out, no one in the class needed help the next day or the day after. Whoever in the study room had stolen my work had forwarded it to most of the class. Scumbag move number two. I don't mind being helpful, but hate being used, so I made a plan to get back at the people who had stolen my work. It didn't take long to organize my

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Text - 1. I changed an answer on the next assignment by multiplying by -1. $1,500 became -$1,500 on this question 2. The next week, I left my computer in the same place as before and went to get water, just like I had done the week before. 75% of the people in my class of 40 people put -$1,500 as the answer to question 3, which was definitely incorrect.

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Text - 3.I began studying relentlessly for the midterm. Our professor had said he wouldn't adjust the weight of the test (something like YourScore/50 on a test with 60 points available so your score of 40 becomes 80% instead of 67%) if anyone scored particularly well. This class was difficult, and no one was expecting anyone to score over 75%, so all my classmates figured the weight of the test would be adjusted. My plan was to "wreck the curve" (even though it's not a curve) and deny everyone t

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Text - Here's how it all played out: No one who copied me realized the answer was incorrect. Every last one of those idiots submitted the wrong answer the question 3. This next part surprised me, but my classmates began insisting the class was unfair, too difficult, or rigged and launched these complaints at our professor. One day after class I had the following exchange since I was the last student out of the classroom:

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Text - Professor: OP, do you think this class is to hard? Me: Honestly, this class is hard, but if people spent as much time studying as they did complaining, they'd be fine. They really need to just get to work Professor: I thought the same Me: (deciding spur of the moment my next move) I also happen to know that most of the class incorrectly copied my work on the last assignment. Question 3 should be a net income of $1,500, not a net loss of

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Text - $1,500. I put down the wrong answer initially, everyone copied me, and then I changed the answer later. I think you can reasonably conclude that anyone with -$1,500 as the answer cheated off of my incorrect work Professor: I figured they all copied, but I didn't know you were the source. Anyway, thanks for your candor and your dedication to the class I didn't cheat, so I don't know what happenedto those who did, but depending on the class, they would either get a 0 for the assignment or a

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Text - Fast forward to test day, and I'm ready to go. I know since most of the students are business majors, they need 70% to pass the class because it's a required course. Hurting them on the midterm will go a long way in helping drop their grades. I take the test, I'm the first one done, and I leave pretty sure l've done enough to deny the class the exam weight adjustment A week later, we get our exams back. Tests are distributed all around me with scores on the top in red ink. 68, 71, 70, 66,

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Text - 93%. I've won Some idiot in the front of the class: So is there going to be a curve? Professor: Nope! Me: What was the high score?

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Text - Professor: 93%! Average score for the exam was 71, so a good number of people didn't get a "passing" score. Maybe they made up for it on the final and passed, but I don't care. I got mine TL;DR: People steal my homework so I bait them into giving a wrong answer, tip the professor off on their cheating, and score high enough on the midterm to deny anyone a chance for an adjusted score.

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Tagged: academics , school , satisfying , students , revenge , awesome , Reddit

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Misfortune Monday: Uneventful Days Aren't Bad Days

Sometimes the days you don't remember are the best ones. Not because anything particularly good happened, but because a strange and specific mishap did not happen. You can never be too sure of what mess large or small will be just over the horizon, but if one thing is for sure, it's that misfortune puts things in perspective.