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Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Cleverest Of The Clever Comebacks

One could climb Mt. Cleverest with all of these. We love a good comeback, and this particular batch is full of spiciness, sharp wit, and enough humor to maybe, just maybe, get some laughter going. Anyone who hits a comments section, or sends a tweet/status out, is exposing themselves to the possibility of being on the receiving end of a masterful, clever comeback.

1.

Cartoon - nobody told you to bring that heavy backpack and nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either, but Im stuck with both solovalker MY BOIII JAMES

2.

Text - 27 You Retweeted Pizza Hut Restaurants O 2019-01-17 Pizza tut Bit rich coming from a club that hasn't RESTAURANTS delivered since 1992... Leeds United O @L... · 2019-01-17 Prefer @dominos thanks! They don't take a week to deliver a tweet O 5,068 2761.1K 206K Show this thread

3.

Text - Queen Bin-Laden @lindiwe_dee There's nothing more satisfying than being prettier than your ex boyfriend's new girlfriend Tee @Terdoh Fact that he's not going for just looks anymore means you taught hima valuable lesson.

4.

Transport - Yandie @Yandi_S_ I have a question to all men Why do you wear a belt if the jeans will be below your ass. LIBERTY @Katlego_Mahapa The same reason why your girls bring a purse on a date and don't pay

5.

Text - Twitter Books @Twitte.. · 19h v LU Last book that made you cry ♡ 211 27 29 185 Sahaj Amatya @sahaj_a... ·12h v University Physics with Modern Physics 14th Edition by Hugh D. Young, Roger A. Freedman e 2 27 11 ♡ 66 Roger Freedman @Roger.. · 10h v No doubt tears of joy. 3 27 41 203

6.

Text - Mtimande + @Apz_Ngwenya Some guy in my lecture just offered me his jacket cause I was shivering...I would have taken the jacket if he was cute Yeah, whatever. @Keith_a_Trip Maybe the cute ones would have offered if they thought you were also cute.

7.

Text - Carson @CallMeCarsonYT There is no greater defeat than when the waiter calls me "buddy" when I'm ordering my food Soon I will be 21, yet here I am, looking like I'm 14. 5:06 PM · 5/3/20 · Twitter for iPhone 2,850 Retweets 68.1K Likes @SethEverman · 9h Replying to @CallMeCarsonYT Seth Everman that's okay buddy Q 10 2786 11.6K Carson @CallMeCarsonYT · 9h quiet grampsi could use your head as a mirror Q 51 27150 10K

8.

Text - · 12h Replying to @hulu Pathetic movie ♡ 75 27 10 48 Hulu @hulu · 12h it won.. four oscars. 23 27 519 9K · 11h It's not in English, no one wants to watch a movie that they literally have to read to understand what's going on. Sound is such a huge part of movies and it being in a different language is so weir s o 531 27 15 37 Hulu O @hulu - 11h if you don't want to read subtitles, you can always learn Korean! O 211 27 2.6K 13.8K

9.

Text - quixoticrealism I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL AND HE SAID “I AM CHILL" AND I SAID “I THOUGHT U WERE DAD" I DAD JOKED MY DAD TAM THE REVOLUTION aryastakres hello revolution im dad foxylester a bitter defeat

10.

Text - r/AskAnAmerican u/mathesss • 3h • United Kingdom What's your opinion on the British Empire? Do the positives outwiegh the negatives or vice versa? 158 205 1 Share BEST COMMENTS - 20ftSkipper • 3h • Great Lakes and Mobeeel We wrote a strongly worded letter about this once. Believe we sent you a copy. Reply 475

11.

Text - kunal @kunalwillmadeit · 8m Mai omlette khaunga 2 1 proper pakora O @punirudh · 8m *omelette or omelet 1 kunal @kunalwillmadeit · 7m former is british, latter is american ♡ 2 2 proper pakora O @punirudh · 6m And what you said is none of the above 2 2 kunal @kunalwillmadeit · 5m yeah because I am neither British nor American I am Indian 2

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Text - Haida 1 hr · My son is 4 years old and all he does is watch other kids on YouTube playing video games. I asked him politely why don't you play video games yourself?O He goes "You watch other people play football why don't you play yourself" OI got angry and turned off the Wifi.

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bliss ..*. @k333na papaya peach pineapple banana spring water maca powder and raw honey post workout smoothie Markus Gilliland @markusanthony17 obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice giant snake birthday cake large fries chocolate shake

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Text - erotic fiction author @urvillageidiot can somebody with bangs tell me which planet is making me sad please 11/30/18, 2:13 AM 8,455 Retweets 37.6K Likes 164 28 Comments • 80 Shares Love Comment Share I'm bald but the answer is earth

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Text - Elon Musk O @elonmusk · 7h FREE AMERICA NOW 10.8K 27 18.9K 117K Ryan Wyatt O @Fwiz Replying to @elonmusk twitter.com/elonmusk/statu.. Elon Musk O @elonmusk · 09 Nov 17 "If one day, my words are against science, choose science." Mustafa Kemal Atatürk Show this thread 18:57 · 29 Apr 20 from Los Angeles, CA · Twitter for iPhone

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Movie - THE DARE P TRISES Is there a certain regimen you put yourself through? The diet, the workout, what is the feline fitness regime It's all the boring stuff that no one ever wants to do, watch what you eat and get yourself to the gym Any particular worko- Are you trying to lose weight? Seriously we have to talk about this what do you want are you trying to fit into a catsuit? Is that it?

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Text - Roast turned wholesome christian @nopoweradeinusa · Jan 3, 2018 I wish I could be one of those guys who gets rich off bitcoin & cryptocurrencies but unfortunately I was born insanely cool so I don't understand that nerd bullshit 80 17 7.8K ♡ 43.6K ili CryptKeeper @ADChandra Replying to @nopoweradeinusa It's okay. Some nerd will give you a job. 12:50 AM · Jan 4, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 5 Retweets 55 Likes christian @nopoweradeinusa · Jan 4, 2018 Replying to @ADChandra will U teach me how

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Text - Beans After Dark @goodbeanalt british people be like im bri ish javeigh young-white (mango propaga... @javeighyw is it cause they drank the t

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Text - (72 Mom > Today 12:40 PM your failing English You're* Delivered

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Architecture - JAY @LifeOfJay98 These huge companies all started from a garage... what's YOUR excuse? Disney Apple Amazon Google BRANDO @el_branbran I don't have a garage.

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Tagged: satisfying , witty comebacks , clever , awesome , ridiculous , funny , win

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Low-Life Landlord Dealt Justice By Tenant

Anyone who enjoys seeing sweet justice getting dealt out will get a kick out of this. We have a low-life landlord, who quite simply, gets their comeuppance to the satisfying tune of having to pay up, then having assets at their place of business seized, and then having the same money returned.

If this landlord revenge got you going, we recommend checking out this story of the landlord who refused to give the tenant back their deposit, so a court revenge followed. Similar in tone, and again, oh so satisfying.

1.

Text - r/ProRevenge u/calcteacher • 159d + JOIN 1 3 3 Revenge on the lowlife landlord who first deprived us of heat and later kept our security deposit I responded to this post https://redd.it/e243q0 and had a mini blow up, with many encouraging me to repost it here, so here it is. I was a kid back in the 80s 2 years out of college when I

2.

Text - moved into an apartment by the shore in NJ. When the cold weather arrived, there was always a few days when the apartment was cold, we would tell the super, and then the heat would start arriving. One year the heat started decreasing in February, and inside the apartment was like in the 50s and we had to start wearing coats. We told the super about it and nothing happened this time. We wrote the landlord about it, and still nothing. So we checked with an attorney and learned about warrant

3.

Text - Flash forward to living there for 6 years, on the last lease because we are about to buy a home, we write in a clause that we can break the lease with 45 days notice in writing, similar to his 45 day clause. They don't notice it because it's slightly obscured on the top left of page 2, so they sign off on it and return it to me. So in the middle of the lease, we give the 45 day written notice, make the rent payments, and leave. They don't return our deposit, so we sue for it, demanding do

4.

Text - We arrive at the courthouse and court forces a round of arbitration. The arbitrator says we will lose in front of the judge and to pay the rent remainderments. We refuse and wait for the judge. While waiting the landlord's attorney drops by and asks why we didn't take the arbitrator's advice, so we tell him about the clause we wrote in, and he states he saw it too, and that since it was crossed out, it's not part of the deal. We show him our copy of the lease where it's not crossed out, a

5.

Text - We go to see the judge. He looks at both leases and calls their attorney to the bench. The judge takes our lease, and thrusts it toward their attorney and says, "This is the lease in force." Their attorney starts walking around the courtroom like a chick with his head cut off, while I try to laugh as quietly as possible. The judge finds for us for double damages. We receive nothing for a week, and I go back to the courthouse where the clerk says, they should pay that judgment immediately,

6.

Text - Another month passes and we get a call from the court. They have our money. I told them the landlord had sent a check a while back so all it good. She tells us that we should have informed the court that we got the money to stop the chattel execution from occurring. The court sent the sheriff to their offices and confiscated office equipment and sold it at auction to satisfy the judgment ! They said don't worry, they will just return the money to the landlord. That is the revenge, getting

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Tagged: landlord , satisfying , revenge , awesome , Reddit , apartment

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AskReddit Thread: Red Flags When Looking For Jobs

Someone got an AskReddit thread going about the red flags to keep a watchful eye out for while job hunting. Taking note of these might come in handy next time you find yourself looking for a new job, and don't want to end up in a difficult situation that could've been avoidable from the get go, if you but knew what to steer clear of from the start.

1.

Text - CollisionFactor • 6h Making jokes about overtime and "crunch time". Guaranteed it's going to be a nights and weekends are optional (but not actually optional) place.

2.

Text - Sttommyboy • 6h This was a red flag I had during an interview process once. I was doing a phone interview for an IT position and the person I was interviewing with basically changed the details of the job during the interview. Instead of the first shift hours the position promised, he immediately went into saying it would be 6+ months before the opportunity for first shift would even be a possibility. Also, he was big into asking how dedicated I was to jobs. The idea of weekend shifts (ag

3.

Text - insane_knight• 7h Couple of things. Open interviews Admittedly l've fallen for this a few times but I was young and stupid. It's clear they have a high turn over so they're trying to secure as many people as they can. Most of the time these open interview jobs don't have salaries, just commission. Refusal or reluctancy to share details over the phone This is what usually ends up in you turning up to an open interview. If they withhold information about the role (what you'll be doing etc.)

4.

White - freefall-lemming • 8h High staff turnover

5.

Text - Lord-AG • 6h 1 Award "We are a family here" which means this is how they try to make up for the shitty pay and long hours.

6.

Text - JermStudDog • 4h 3 1 Award A former coworker shared this tidbit with me years ago and it works wonders. Try to schedule your in person interview as late in the afternoon as possible, relevant to your position. If you're expecting a 9-5 job, schedule your interview for 4:00 or 4:30. You probably discussed after hours work etc during the interview, when you are done, you should be able to look around - are people still working? Is the parking lot empty? You can match up the evidence with wh

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Text - theassholeofalabama • 7h A employer who treats you like they are doing you a favor. With good servant leadership it should be the other way around. An unclear job description, or a job description that includes too many duties. Not being offered the opportunity to see the working areas or talk to people who would be your peers. Just generally trying to feel out whether or not they have things under control or not. I don't want to walk into a shit show.

8.

Text - every1luvsanunderdog • 7h Manager who doesn't really interview you or who doesn't take the interview seriously. They are on their phone the whole time, don't ask any questions, are too casual.

9.

Text - eternalrefuge86 • 7h Earning potential is stressed over current salary.

10.

Text - MAVERICKRICARDO • 6h If you ask them what the pay is and they start off with what you COULD be making after so much time and they start rambling about the raise process, run the other way

11.

Text - FistFullOfQuarters • 7h Any job that requires an upfront cost. This is a telltale sign that you are getting wrapped up into a MLM pyramid scheme.

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Text - Parienteenene • 8h For me when they do open interviews lol

13.

Text - todorooo • 7h Initially unpaid, but will result in full time offer upon completion of XYZ

14.

Text - OldMork • 7h "We work hard and play hard", it actually means all work and for sure no play.

15.

Text - RonnieVanDan • 7h 1 Award "Master's Degree Preferred" for an entry level job. Reply 14.6k

16.

Text - Hungryboystrucking • 7h Unfortunately I have worked for a couple of places that hired roughly 75+ people 3 times per week at several location just to keep up with turnover.

17.

Text - hail_to_the_beef • 6h I interviewed for a company that had a recruiter after me pretty hard. The company was just moving into my market and the reviews on Glassdoor definitely mentioned people being frustrated with the "bro culture". All of my interviews were over facetime with the managers showing up in their pajamas from home and admitting that since the company is still growing the work load was pretty much 7 days a week until you got your new team hired and running - it just wasn't ve

18.

Text - Clapperoth • 7h S 2 Awards If the job description has about 20 items of which one is "sales" your job is going to be sales.

19.

Text - finester39 • 7h "Looking for rock stars" in the job description, unless of course the posting is in fact for a position to be a rock star!

20.

Text - Mungolorian • 8h When they say you could be earning 6 figures in less than a year

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Text - Kakitai • 5h If it feels like you have the job before your 'interview'. I once applied to a trainee position, I got to the interview and it felt like I had already got the position and the meeting was just for details. It was weird, he looked at my docs more as a formality but apart from the excessive praise, I was never actually asked anything. I was told I would do a week trial with only travel expenses paid. During that week there was no training or anything, I heard some not nice thin

22.

Text - JustSomeFatBastard • 8h Hiring lots of people on the same position, everyone who calls gets a job. Often means the job is either bullshit or they're setting you all up to compete for the actual job.

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Text - Loeb123 · 8h Job description: You will be in charge of the Online Marketing. Because of that, we expect that you will also be the web- developer, photoshoper, community-manager, coffee-maker and dick-sucker. That kind of crap will tell you if that business understands the role they are looking to fill or are just expecting some kind of magical entity that will do everything online-related by himself.

24.

Text - PassMeCharger • 6h Always ask them why the person you are replacing left the job. The way they answer this could be a red flag.

25.

Text - Tantric819 · 7h Arrived for an interview not to long ago. Showed up 15 minutes early and had all my certs to prove training. Waited over 20 minutes before the secretary led me to a conference room. Waited another 40 minutes and got fed up. Quality manager walked in as I was getting up to leave. He was very offended when I told him he had wasted my time and i would never accept a position after being left to wait almost an hour while having an appointment.

26.

Text - telestrial • 7h When they shit talk previous employees. They're going to do it to you.

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Text - I got a call from a subway I applied to telling me my interview was in ten minutes. That was the first I heard from them after submitting my application

28.

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Text - VoijaRisa • 5h I turned down a second interview for a position in which the interviewer said something to the effect of "If your boss Emails you on a Friday night, you don't have to respond, but you know how that looks..." Made it pretty clear that they expect work to be your first priority.

30.

Text - lildewford • 6h 1 Award Requires 10 years experience, two masters degrees. Start. 8.50 hr

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Text - BobbySanchoas • 6h If the job ask for money to begin. Will hide it this behind "oh you know we just need 90 dollars for the piss test, and 180 for the marketing training" Definitely not talking from my scammed ass's personal experience

32.

Text - TimeToRedditToday • 5h "if you're the kind of person who likes a 9-5 job this may not be right for you"

33.

Text - Oreo_Salad • 6h I can think of a few specific examples. A) When I was younger I was in between my dads house and my eventually wife (and then ex-wife)'s parents house, kind of living both places but I was transitioning to move in with her family. We lived about 50 minutes apart. She stayed with me on occasion at my dads, too. This all becomes relevant. I applied at the McDonalds in her town just trying to do anything. Well I got a call one morning at 7 AM, McD manager says interview in 25

34.

Text - B) A job for online Apple tech support through a third party working from home. In the interview they told me they'd send me a Mac to work from and a phone to use. I was a little smarter than the me in example A, so I had questions. My main red flag popped when she said "you're responsible for the equipment and the cost of any repairs if it breaks".. Okay makes sense. But I asked "Are these new devices?" She danced around the question but I was persistent. Finally she said no, they're ref

35.

Text - Count2Zero • 6h If they ask you to pay for training, that's usually a red flag that it's a MLM or pyramid scheme. If they ask you to buy stuff on commission and then it's your job to resell it, big ol' red flag. I've had job interviews where the whole company gave me a weird vibe - lots of psychology questions like "do you like to be in control?" while sitting in an office building with zero privacy - all of the offices had glass walls, so everyone could see everyone else. Needless to say

36.

Text - mecromace • 5h I had a team lead interview me for a contract once say bluntly, "you don't want to work here; it's horrible". He was right and still undersold the experience somehow.

37.

Text - gothmombietings • 5h "We are family around here!" Means they are ready to gaslight the living hell out of you.

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Tagged: jobs , employee , work , helpful , askreddit , knowledge , Reddit

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Hercules Beetle Sounds like a Lawnmower

The Hercules beetle is a species of rhinoceros beetle and it's one of the largest flying insects out there. And when those wings start beating it seriously sounds like it's cutting grass. Anyway sweet dreams.

Submitted by: (via InsecthausTV)

Tagged: nature , insects , bugs , Hercules , beetle , amazing , biology , Video , Beetles

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