Friday, May 1, 2020

AskReddit Thread: Strange Rules Families Have


Normal to the family and weird to the rest of the world. This fun AskReddit thread has people sharing the various weird rules in their families that are ultimately harmless. It's funny to see what kinds of traditions and "rules" can be hatched up by a family. 

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Text - Wombat--Combat • 16h My family always has 2 dogs, you may insult the younger dog as much as you want, but you must never insult the elder dog.

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Text - Commonsensewho • 18h 3 3 Awards My rule for walks: Every duck you see must be confronted about their various love affairs. A lone male duck? "Sir??? Sir are you aware of where your wife is???" I have gotten every person l've walked with in on this joke/rule. And in case you're curious, ducks are all having affairs, squirrels you can only get for tax evasion, and geese are always up for a turf war.

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Text - JustPlainSimpleGarak • 1d We do not fight at weddings

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Text - Red-Stilleto • 19h We're all incredibly sarcastic and kinda rude to each other. It's how we show love but to avoid any actual hurt feelings if anyone ever says the exact phrase 'stop teasing' it's over and everyone apologieses. Grew up with this rule and trust me kindergarten was a rough awakening when bullies don't bend over backwards at my magic phrase. Overall good way to grow up goofing around and joking with family but make sure no one is actually offended when you roast them nonstop

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Text - Chibeyond • 19h When eating a meal together, we have a certain sitting arrangement. But when drinking a coffee, me and my mum swich seats. Same table, different arrangement.

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Text - verminiusrex • 22h Don't bother dad while he's eating. I was a stay at home dad and did most of the cooking. After dishing up and serving everyone, l'd plate my food just in time for everyone to come back for seconds, which i would dish up for them. After a couple years of eating lukewarm food (and the kids were big enough to dish up their seconds) I made the rule so I could actually have a hot meal. I still enforce this rule.

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Text - SuperCoffeePowersGo • 17h 2 Awards If you are the last person to leave the house you need to put the radio on for the cat

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Text - Stressful-stoic • 23h There is a framed photo of the girl which came with the frame among our other family photos on the cabinet. My grandpa received the frame and he died before he'd exchanged the photo so we're just keeping it like that.

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Text - teenage_dirtbag_03 • 23h If you find the gnome, you hide the gnome.

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Text - PsychOmatt • 18h If ever giving someone a ride home, wait for them to get the door to their house open before leaving. This may have been more important when I was growing up before everyone had a cellphone. My parents did a lot with our church youth group so there were a lot of events or times after get togethers where some of them would need rides, and this was to make sure they were home safely and not locked out or anything.

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Text - foopiez • 20h no sweeping or mopping at night Mom & dad claim its bad luck but I know it's cuz they're tired of us quickly doing our chores as they pull up in the driveway

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Text - Eradikate • 22h The last slice of birthday cake belongs to the person whose birthday it was made to celebrate. Not strange in and of itself, strange in that my family had to actively spell it out.

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Text - agaggleofsharts • 19h As a child, if you repeatedly farted, you were sent to the bathroom. An understandable rule with basis in fact of what you probably needed to do if you were farting a lot. I never realized how funny it was until I was telling my husband about it and he lost it.

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Text - archavex • 20h 1 Award When we have game night, whatever game we play, everyone must sit through a reading of the entire rule book and state that they understand the rules as they have been read, and any rule which has not been read shall not be included. House rules caused so many games to be all fucked up, especially monopoly. So we dont use house rules any more, and by reading the rules every time, no one can say they didnt know the rules

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Text - Captainrosebeard • 20h You have to try a food twice before saying you don't like it.

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Text - dataminer-x • 22h If you touch whatever is cooking, you become the cook. For example, if you come stir a pot or lift a lid, you own it. Exceptions are made for preventing something from overflowing or catching fire, though if the latter happens, it may be best for someone else to take over. TLDR: don't touch my stuff when l'm cooking, or l'll stop cooking.

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Text - FLCLHero • 20h Never whistle when you're near the pond. This was at my old family home. We moved away from there nearly 30 years ago. Strange thing is, when I ask my parents about this rule they have no idea what l'm talking about. I very much remember it being sort of a big deal.

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Text - OnlyNameLeftUnused • 22h 1 Award We all have ice cream or nobody has ice cream. (don't eat the whole friggn' carton solo) OH, and using 2 icing on one toaster strudel apprenly now carries the death penalty.

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Text - Six_Foot_Dwarf • 20h When you cook a turkey, you have to give it a lemon boob-job. Started a few years ago, when my mom saw it online, and thought it was the funniest thing. She past away a couple years ago, and us kids have been doing it ever since.

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Text - snoqualmie • 22h No books at the dinner table unless it's the dictionary. A serving of cookies is exactly 3 cookies.

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Text - Rolling_Gear • 22h Most of the shows we watch are recorded live, and then watched later in the week. Mother cannot control the remote, as she will skip the commericials and go 5 minutes further, then spend just as long getting back to the correct stop as it would have been to watch the commercials in the first place.

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Text - betzevim • 21h You know how most people worship cats? We do that, but for ducks

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Text - mrsrariden • 20h Youngest person that knows how to read hands out the Christmas presents.

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Text - sunnypamom • 23h When a guest leaves you need to walk out to their car with them no matter what the weather. We were taught its a sign of care and respect for the guests

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Text - TaintedCaribou • 21h You may not use any tools to open a gift, with one exception. A tool may be used if it was also presented as a gift during the same gift giving event. Example: Going to get a pocket knife is prohibited. Using a pocket knife you normally carry is prohibited. If you are given a pocket knife as a present, it may be used to open other gifts at that time. There are no rules limiting how presents may be wrapped.

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Text - xylophonefox • 18h We have a "First Day" rule. You are not allowed to ask to play with or use any toys/items of your siblings on the first day they receive them. So birthdays and holidays that you get presents, you do not have to share with the others. And if they try, you get to yell "First Day!"

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Text - shockingpomegranate • 19h If it is a guest's first time attending movie night at my parents' house, the movie is always Pride and Prejudice (2005). How does this happen? Either an invitation is extended phrased as "would you like to come over and watch Pride and Prejudice?" or a "spontaneous" decision is made to watch the movie after everyone has eaten dinner. It's never spontaneous. They always plan it. If someone declines to watch Pride and Prejudice, movie night suddenly becomes board

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Text - MerylSquirrel • 22h 1 Award When there are multiple dessert options after a large family meal, the lime jelly must be included in the options offered to everyone, but nobody may accept the lime jelly. Only my stepdad may have the lime jelly. The strange thing is that this was never a conscious decision we made, and it was never really noticed until I was seventeen. It was the first time my now partner was invited to a big family meal. After the meal, my grandma told us the dessert options

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Text - Montrealgirl • 19h 3 2 Awards I wouldn't call it a rule... more of a tradition. Every Christmas eve, after dinner and the presents etc, my mom ( sometimes against our will )turns off the power in the house and makes us all play hide-and-go-seek for at least 30 minutes. Some years we are all into it, some years we aren't. But I never regret playing afterwards. It's great memories for the smaller folks and it's lots of laughs for the older ones. Overall would recommend.

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Text - tired_fire_ants • 21h No one tells mom that my sister and I didn't buy our graduation photos and just framed the sample photo with the huge watermark. Been four years and she hasn't noticed

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Text - JayDeeWee • 21h When we need some time by ourselves we say, "I'm going to do saying we need some alone time. _, don't bother me." It's just our way of

32.

Text - Pxander • 22h Whenever ANYBODY comes over, you put the kettle on. However, this may be the case for many British families

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Funny, Strange, And Cheesy Gems From The Tinder World


Tinder is blossoming right now. With many experiencing more "free time" alone, and without the external stimulation of social obligations, events, etc, people are flooding the app like never before. This makes for a welcomed wealth of ridiculous moments from the world of Tinder. It would seem to be the home of people trying out the very best and worst of their pickup lines. 

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Text - tati YOU MATCHED WITH TATI ON 4/30/20 You look so familiar... didn't we take a class together? Today 9:41 PM i don't think so lol Today 10:42 PM I could've sworn we had chemistry Sent i haven't taken chem yet so that's fosho a no lol

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Text - My bio says "I'm statistically taller than you" ll TELUS ? 9:24 AM © 86% So how are you statistically smarter than me Today 9:23 AM I mean I never claimed to be statistically smarter than you But if you misread "smarter" for "taller" than maybe you're onto something

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Text - l vodafone UK ? 20:34 @ 1 60% YOU MATCHED WITH 14/04/2020. ВЗ Today 20:20 No l'm not a snack machine Actually was referring to a chess board I was moving a piece so that I could make a move for the queen Sent

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Text - 21 I only date girls my own race, the human race, not barbie dolls SHARE S PROFILE SEE WHAT A FRIEND THINKS

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Text - Oh how the turntables Chat Profile Liked your answer Today, 10:05 AM You invited Stephanie to start the chat Today, 10:40 AM Honestly I never have to start the chats so l've been staring at my phone for the past 5 minutes trying to figure out something entertaining to say.. this is all I got Not so easy is it? Sent

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Text - 04:08 1 ll LTE YOU MATCHED WITH ON 4/21/20 yoga hawaiian blonde Yesterday 20:18 abs Yesterday 20:56 cute smile nice hair date Yesterday 23:46 ok

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Text - McKayla Send your worst pick up line Today 2:00 AM Do you have a Band-Aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you've got fine written all over you It's handy that I have my library card because l'm totally checking you out. Today 2:34 AM Was your dad a boxer? Cuz you're a knockout Are you a loan? 'Cause you've got my interest! They have four legs but aren't alive We all need chairs to live and thrive If it has three legs it's called a stool And I think

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Text - I didn't respond for 3 months. Worth it. YOU MATCHED WITH ON 2/4/20 Hey :) how's the new year treating ya so far! Awesome so far! Hbu? :) I've got nothing to complain about! Today 9:12 PM How about now? Sent Well maybe a little more to complain about now ...

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Product - Today 10:26 PM Are you lightning? Cuz I wanna make you McQueen hi – obvisouly i'm no linger interested in communicating with you after that message, but i'm writing to let you know, entirely for your own sake, that you need to do better or no girl will ever seriously reply to you GIF Type a message... V.

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Text - ll GCI 10:08 AM 177% Jen YOU MATCHED WITH JEN ON 4/10/20 hi jen i'm ben Friday 11:12 AM hi ben i'm jen Yesterday 12:14 PM nice to meet you jen. do you wanna be my fren? Sent Yesterday 6:00 PM i'd love to be your fren ben. you seem like a solid ten

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Text - Vo) 15:27 LTE ll 47% Grace So did you set your location to Edinburgh or? cuz im bored Why Edinburgh? You know much about Scotland? nope Today 15:24 You know what this is? nope Me carrying this conversation Sent

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Text - Emilio YOU MATCHED WITH EMILIO ON 7/2/17 Looks like I turned to the right Paige Oh you absolutely have Although unfortunately I've heard that pun Emilion times Sent There's no fucking way you just did that.

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Text - ll AT&T ? 10:01 AM 1 0 * 97% YOU MATCHED WITE ON 4/22/20 hey my kid loves trains, what's some cool facts to tell my 5yo Today 9:56 AM Oh! I got this! Ok so Thomas the Tank Engine was a real train He is based on the LBSC E2 from 1910's Edwardian Britain. Edward is a Furness K2, Henry is an LMS Black Five, Gordon is an LNER A1, James is an L&Y Class 28, Percy is a GWR Trojan Saddle Tank, and Toby is an LNER J70 Tram Every character is based on a real train, but I decided just to cover the m

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Text - 10:55 1 Tara YOU MATCHED WITH TARA ON 2020-04-10 Hey Cameron are you super bored like me or are you working full time? Yesterday 8:28 AM I'm working Yesterday 10:07 PM Oh okay well BYE Today 6:55 AM Good luck! Today 8:21 PM You're not even cute dude Tried to unmatch you but it's too much effort Today 10:55 PM You've got a weird standard in terms of what you put effort into. Sent

16.

Text - kristin @kmaaac14 I matched with my ex's dad on a dating app and I can't tell you how bad I wanna date him just so I can show up to a family event. Who's your mommy bitch

17.

Text - Micah, I have a really good airplane joke I want to share... But I think it might go over your head. Today 9:35 AM Oh trust me It won't, because I won't even read it. So no worries about it going over my head. Itll be discarded like all the other comments I get on here. I sure hope you aren't that guy who does the whole “jokes" when you interact with strangers who are doing their jobs. I'd pity the bank teller, cashier, waiter, or anyone else who comes in your path. Not really sure why a

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Evil Stepmother's Wedding Dress Ruined with Chocolate Skid Mark


This person's step mom sounds like a pretty cruel customer, so it's no surprise that cruelty came back to bite her in the form of a big chocolate skid mark on her wedding dress. For some more family drama that ended with justice, here's Auntie Karen whose scam fell apart after offering exposure as payment. And for wedding drama, here are moments that proved that the wedding was a bad idea.

1.

Text - r/pettyrevenge · Posted by u/katep2000 8 hours ago Ruining a wedding reception for fun and profit! When I was 13, so eight years ago, my dad remarried, after divorcing my mom 4 years before. Before the divorce, his fiancée had been his mistress. My mom is completely better off without him, and ignoring the fact that I wouldn't exist, I don't think she should have married him in the first place. Even if I think my parents weren't a good match, that's no excuse to cheat on your wife.

2.

Text - This woman was fucking vile in all sorts of ways. She constantly belittled me, made fun of the fact I needed to take pills for my mental illness (despite being a fucking pharmacist? I don't get it either) and was generally awful to me and my siblings. But she was a decade younger than my dad and reasonably hot, so he didn't give a shit how she treated us. The one time he actually listened to us about her is when they were thinking of having a baby and my brother said he'd ask our mom to s

3.

Text - So anyway, they got married. I was a bridesmaid, cause that bitch had no real friends. (The other two bridesmaids were her sister and my sister.) My brother was the best man, cause she didn't like my daď's best friend. He and my dad still don't talk to this day, even though the guy was like an uncle to me as a little kid. It was a wedding, everything went normally. But at the beginning of the reception, before the first dance, we were taking pictures in front of a chocolate fountain, look

4.

Text - Anyway, I kinda snapped, and decided she was gonna pay for this. No one noticed (or at least no one called me out) when I started slowly moving the chocolate fountain towards the edge of the table. When it got to the edge, it makes contact with the back of that pure white wedding dress and slowly drips down. By the time she notices, it looks like she's shit herself. But for all anyone else knows this was an accident. She has no spare dress, and that stain is not coming out. So first dance

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Bizarre Movie Tropes And Their Super Weird Implications


Our friends at Cracked are back, with a fresh addition to their new video series called, "Your Brain On Cracked." It's a fun watch. 

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Tagged: cracked , movies , film , cinema , Video

Stupid Ways People Started Fires


From a really early age, most of us are taught the extreme basics of fire safety. You'd be amazed at how many people think that flooding a room with oxygen or covering a fire with paper towels will put it out. Whether it's due to panic, carelessness or people just not knowing any better, firefighters have to save people from some really stupid situations.

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Text - stupidlyugly 7.8k points · 18 hours ago The ole turkey fryer on the wood deck is always a favorite. Harley_Atom 4.4k points · 14 hours ago My dad is a firefighter and he once told me that if I ever want to start a fire and make it look like an accident that the turkey cooker is the way to do it. He taught me how to commit arson and insurance fraud.

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Text - De_Rossi 140 points · 17 hours ago Was in my local paper, turned out to be my friends older brother. He tried to smoke out bees in the loft and set fire to the insulation in the loft and burnt the whole house down.

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Text - AlaWyrm 274 points · 16 hours ago When my father in law was a kid, he really wanted to have a camp fire. His parents told him no. He was determined to have a camp fire so he went up to his room and started one under his bed so they wouldn't know. I keep that knowledge in my back pocket for whenever he wants to imply I'm an idiot.

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