Thursday, April 30, 2020

Western Foods that are Weird to Visitors


Admittedly cheese is kind of a strange thing, and to the uninitiated, it's hard to forget that sausage (at its best, even) is an animal's butt stuffed with itself. If you come from a land of avocado dessert milk drinks, then guacamole probably looks like an atrocity. Here's some culture shock had by Europeans in the United States. Culture shock can come from even the smallest things, like this cultural collide over what lemonade is.

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Totally Random Tumblr Nuggets That Hit The Spot


Tumblr is the place that just keeps on giving. We have a deep appreciation for the minds of Tumblr, and the ways that the various fandoms deconstruct all kinds of stuff (movies, shows, characters, plot holes, etc.). 

If this list of random, hilarious, and generally bizarre Tumblr gems left you wanting more, we recommend checking out a recent Tumblr thread on how Captain America saw through Nick Fury's clever genius. Or if that isn't your speed, maybe the time that Tumblr went full mythological scientist on dragon evolution.

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Text - If you hear weird noises In the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance. Meirl what-if-dolphins-had-legs The monster in my closet: raswwwwhggggraaww Me: GRAWWWWHHSGAGHJOOIHOOOOWWWWG GOOOLLLYUUUUUUSSAAGHJJIIOO the monster: okay Jesus I'm sorry stan-by-me I taught my 5 yr old this and he now makes the weirdest noises when he walks through an unlit part of the house, then giggles <3 midnight-spectrum-again Excellent advice

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Text - * haaskarotta haaskarotta arctic seafloor: [minding its own icy, dark, frosty business] humans: [drilling a hole in the ice, dropping in a whole-ass human with oxygen tanks and shit attached to it] a solitary clam: Uh, hello there. What are you planning? human: Oh, nothing special, just looking. clam: Looking for something special? human: Nah, just looking. Wanted to see what's in here. clam: Ain't nothing here but us clams, and a few sea stars over there. Some algae and plankton, the occ

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Food - SUPER MASH POTATES TM panic-at-the-bilbo I thought this was hilarious when I was drunk

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Text - bubblybulbasaur A Statistics teacher in Gotham makes a graph comparing times when Bruce Wayne goes on long vacations with times Batman gets beaten up really badly by villains to illustrate to his class how correlation does not equal causation. A kira-sucks-lawlipops Imagine Dick Greyson as a uni student in that lecture, loosing his goddamn mind. back-alley-hero The students come to the conclusion that Bruce Wayne goes on vacation specifically to beat Batman up. aenramsden Actually, if I w

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Fashion accessory - thatsthat24 communistbakery speedwag: subsolar: Super awesome opal cubes!! i want to put these in my mouth really bad but i know theyre rocks so im getting pissed off Sourçe: subsolar 233.930 votes

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Text - skyrim-hates-her the fact that daedra had to stop opening gates in black marsh because the argonians kept reverse-invading them is so funny to me it was just like daedra: we're invading argonians: no, we're invading crystallineknight Daedra: invades Argonians: gifs.com skyrim-hates-her argonians: WHO'S THE DAEDRA NOW, ASSWAGON silver-tongues-blog Daedra: WE COME FROM A REALM OF FLAME AND DEATH TO CONQUER YOU Argonians:

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Text - nasfera2 I wish Americans fucked with more foreign music. You don't have to know the language to appreciate a good record. Folks in other countries listen to our music and don't speak a lick of english. Music needs no translator liltimmys yall wont trick me into listening to kpop

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Text - darthvcder "kids these days are so cringey w their fortnite dances-" are none of yall going to acknowledge the shit we did. are we not going to acknowledge gangnam style. what does the fox say. if we go older hamster dance. crazy frog. the fucking duck song. the llama song. charlie the unicorn. let he who is without sin throw the first stone Source: darthvcder

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Text - magnet @arcadeseals me: i'm terrified of random letters therapist: you are? me: [screams] therapist: oh i see me: [screaming intensifies] abbelbabbel this is such a solid joke omg

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Text - johnnyjoestarrelatable i keep having dreams i can't breathe because my cat cocoa can't comprehend that he's a ragdoll cat the size of a 2 year old human and Too Fucking Lorge to sleep on my chest while i'm sleeping johnnyjoestarrelatable cat: MOTHER IS COLD, I WILL WARM HER me in dream: man i sure do drown a lot lately

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Text - animedads they call me... 7 Knives. because that's how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it 632,219 notes

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Text - shadysquid I fucked up a job interview so bad today they asked me why I wanted to work at this fast food restaurant and I blanked and said that when I was little I liked their fries and wanted to be the French fry queen shadysquid I got the job

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Technology - Ausfahrt Aust alaja Auatahrt Ausfahrt artseke npcscan okay so I've been playing euro truck simulator 2 and I've been seeing these signs that say 'ausfahrt' and every time I saw a sign that said it l'd take a screenshot because I always thought to myself "wow why is this place everywhere? there can't be a place called ausfahrt everywhere across europe" and then I later learned that ausfahrt is not in fact a place and is actually the german word for "exit" I just thought we were suppo

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Text - O cactus-spirit Me: "I need some serotonin." Husband: Stands up. Husband: Sits back down. Hisband: "I didn't remember what serotonin was until after I stood up so I was deadass about to go get you some." feenyxblue Hes a little confused, but hes got the spirit Source: cactus-spirit

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Text - fihli this morning my starbucks is all women, so when i ordered it was all “i love your glasses!" "that drink is soo0o good" “have a great day babe!" which is amazing showstopping incredible BUT yesterday the same starbucks was staffed by all guys and my interaction went kind of like this: first guy, unprompted: we're trying to help john name his scorpion his coworker, leaning around him: here's a list of names you should vote or write your own me: ..what john: AGGRESSIVELY SHOWS ME PICTU

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Text - itchycoil Whenever you're feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill roachpatrol thank you

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Text - positive-memes DiegoDeAlvarado · 1h As a kid I spent hours breeding Lapras and releasing them because the pokedex said they were almost extinct 22 Reply iamnotarob0t · 1h That's actually adorable. 13 Minds of kids are beautiful! moonrosetheapplecoreeater I would like to bring up the fact that as of Sun and Moon, Lapras are no longer endangered skrypt-my-death This kid singlehandedly saved the Lapras species lappyisgaming

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Text - r/TooAfraidToAsk u/blackjackttr •13h Is it normal to go on a walk in my neighborhood? Like l'm jeans and a sweatshirt are people gonna think l'm weird? Edit: Got high and super paranoid, sorry folks. 1.9k 115 Share rich-eater69 This guy got so high he astral projected into April 2020

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Text - happybunnykat A new version of Phinias and Ferb is being released. It is on a streaming service, and will be rated MA. Everyone wonders what this mature version of their beloved kids show will be. The first season is released, and you start watching it. It is just the same as the first season of the old show. Is this some elaborate joke? Finally at the end of the first episode, it happens. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is defeated, as he usually is. This time, however, as Perry is making his exit, yo

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Text - ofdreamcatchersandangels: painfullysane: do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while In barvarian (Germany) that's called: "goaßgschau" which translates to "stare of a goat “ I love that there's a word for this

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Texts from Students Who Had to Take Care of Electronic Babies


Depending on where you went to school and what classes you took, you may have had a project where you had to take care of a sack of flour as if it were a child, or in this case, a robotic doll programmed to cry. Based on how frustrating these things can be, we're not sure if these projects were designed to be a learning experience so much as birth control. It doesn't take simulated parenting to know that kids are weird and dumb, and that toddlers have meltdowns over nothing, but having a robot baby wake up in the middle of the night might be a literal wake-up call for a high school freshman.

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Text - Can you shut off my baby Today 6:14 AM Hello miss lefebvre can you please shut of the child Today 7:48 AM Good morning, I can't shut off or control your baby. It is scheduled for the times you picked when it was programmed. I can't control it. If you or tired or frustrated, ask someone to help you. If you absolutely cannot do it anymore there is an emergency shut off that would end the baby completely and would stop the process totally. If you want to do this, let me know.

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Text - iMessage Today 11:09 AM are the i'd bracelets water proof ? Yes Read 11:18 AM okay thank you

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Text - Today 8:32 AM Can I put the child in my bag? No So I have to carry it in the cole Cold Yep wrap it up in blanket in carrier Ok

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Text - Yesterday 1:30 PM Hey, it's make noise to touch the baby or should I be constantly holding it? . Do I wait for it to Sorry nvm Is it good? Yeah sorry, I didnt have to text you That's ok! Okay thanks Yesterday 6:40 PM Is it working? Yeah, but I've been rocking him for like 20 min and he still is whining Lol That's normal? Nvm he's sleeping

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Text - Yesterday 9:08 PM Hi it's time because he won't stop wimpier and l've tried everything and it's been going on for an hour I really need a quiet We can't add quiet time after being programmed. Get someone to help you. You have a spare bracelet to let someone help. Do I sill have to take care of him until Sunday or can he be turned off on Saturday It's on for whatever you picked in class today

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Text - Yesterday 6:28 PM So Lucy and I might of fallen down the stairs....0opsies Oops. Did she die? Delivered Not that l'm aware of yet Just praying she makes a noise Soon Today 6:55 AM So good and bad news lucky definitely isn't dead

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Text - Today 8:58 AM I dont remeber of it was 7 am that it times out at or 7pm It would be in the evening. It's possible it may sleep most of the day. No way to know. As you sent that text it started crying

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Terrible Manager Gets Fired, Divorced, And Sued For Fraud


This revenge is pretty much nuclear in nature. Betty brought it on herself. She was caught up in a whirlwind of self-enforced criminal and immoral behavior. It was only a matter of time before the whole thing came toppling down on itself. And oh boy, it did. The employee that got fired before they could quit decided to address Betty's absurd antics, and call her out. The rest is history, and certainly one revenge story for the books. 

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Text - r/ProRevenge u/MrZero10 • 23h + JOIN 2 W 1 Fire me before I quit? I ruin your life. Since i'm still in school I took a job at a bakery of types which I won't name. The place has Bread in the name but also sells overpriced salads and sandwiches. I worked there for close to a year where I had this boss named Betty (not her real name of course). Betty and I didn't get along whatsoever. She had gotten the previous general manager to quit because she had an affair with him and she threatened t

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Text - When I first started working there I was respectful but she would do things that would get on my nerves. For instance I would clean all the places I would be hired to do and once I was done and relaxed for maybe 5 minutes she would run out of the manager's office screeching, "Why aren't you working?" I would tell her of course I did my job and as a cashier if nobody is there to help then I didn't have anything to do. She would glare at me then I would see her "accidentally" drop an entire

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Text - She was barely at work. She would drive to my job clock just in case corporate decided to check her hours. So she was essentially stealing hours. When you clocked in it printed out a small piece of paper telling when you clocked in. She would just drop them on the floor for me to clean up. I would usually pick them up and stick them into a pocket. So this led to me finding Betty clock in and out stubs in my pocket at my house. This will be important for later. Did I mention she was super

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Text - So after a while I got sick of practically begging for hours so I went to my current job. But decided I merely wanted to drop my hours. Which were already barely a day a week. But suddenly when I got my new job. She scheduled me every. Single. Day. of an entire week. She never did that even when we were on semi good terms. So I obviously told her I had a new job and couldn't do this. After that I went home and called my friend who was still working there to tell him I was going to quit to

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Text - The next day I walk in and go through the respectful motions of saying, "Thank you for the opportunity and blah blah blah." Betty let me get through the entire speech before she said. "Oh yea I was meaning to tell you. You're fired." I was so blindsided and pissed I cussed her out. My mom raised me to treat women with respect but this fucking fat overweight hippo looking bitch pissed me tf off. She's the type of girl to think binge eating was a personality trait. So I left and was mad abo

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Text - THE REVENGE He thought I was still working there so I explained to him I was fired. He was stunned due to the fact that I was a decent employee. He asked why she let me go and I explained it to him and he was angry. He clarified that she fired me before I quit and I said yes. He was pissed that she did this and asked if there was anything else she might have done. I kind of just vented to him for a bit. When I told him about the racist remark he asked if anyone else would collaborate with

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Text - I asked all the people who were working that day if they could and a few said they would say they did. But one did even better. My one coworker Andy is convinced he's the next big vlogger so he always has his phone out or just using audio recording for hours for a chance to catch a funny clip. I've watched his content and let me say it's just super cringe. But turns out he labels each recording by the day and times. So when he checked he found her making racist remarks. I got a brilliant

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Text - Like once a guest sneezed on the baked pastries and when a coworker told her she laughed it off and said nobody would know. But this wasn't enough for me. I try to avoid conflict but when i'm in a situation l'll follow it through. I looked her up on facebook and found out she was MARRIED. Nobody knew this, so when she had the affair with the other manager and basically blackmailed him she was also married and cheating. I don't think anyone ever cared enough to find out because she was a n

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Text - I did some research and in my state blackmail or extortion is a third degree penalty. Which has a max of 7 YEARS in prison with a fine over 10K to the victim. So I told the old manager what my plan was for her. He agreed to call the cops on her but I asked if he'd wait until I finished my part first. He said he'd give me a week. So I met with District Manager Ben and showed him all our evidence. The recordings and the written statements from my other ex-coworkers and people who were still

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Text - Turns out Ben first checked the security cameras to see if she was there for the full time she claimed to be. Big surprise, she wasn't. So Ben decided to investigate the store's expenses since if she's lying about her time what else could she be stealing? He found out she was stealing money from the store. The guy didn't fully explain how she was but just that she was. Turns out she was breaking alot of health and safety codes and used the money for repairs and etc. for herself. So she wa

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Text - So she's begging someone to let her stay but all of her friends and family totally bailed on her. So she was living in her car looking for a job. That's when Mark decides to sue her for extortion, so she scrambles to find a lawyer and to make it even worse the company decided to sue her for all the money she stole and plus all the repairs and lost revenue while the store is closed. Betty's life is shit. She had to sell her car for drastically under what it's worth to pay for all the legal

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Tumblr Thread: Captain America Sees Through Nick Fury's Genius


Wow, this is one of the best parts about the world of Tumblr. The dedication from fans to analyze the tiniest of details in various films. In this case, we're dealing with Captain America: The First Avenger. The thread looks at why Steve was staring so intently at the "nurse" who came in to check on him. The jokes suggest he was checking her out after taking a long snooze. While this thread says that Steve was observing the mistakes present in the nurse's getup. From there, it's suggested that Nick Fury did it intentionally. That sly genius, indeed. 

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Face - sabacc Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman's odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away. winterthirst #EXCUSE ME MAʼAM BUT YOUR TITTIES ARE NOT CONES I'M CALLING BULLSHIT (via)

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Text - lohelim No, see, this scene is just amazing. The costume department deserves so many kudos for this, it's unreal, especially given the fact that they pulled off Peggy pretty much flawlessly. 1) Her hair is completely wrong for the 40's. No professional/working woman would have her hair loose like that. Since they're trying to pass this off as a military hospital, Steve would know that she would at least have her hair carefully pulled back, if maybe not in the elaborate coiffures that woul

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Text - 3) That. Bra. There is so much clashing between that bra and what Steve would expect (remember, he worked with a bunch of women for a long time) that it has to be intentional. She's wearing a foam cup, which would have been unheard of back then. It's also an exceptionally old or ill-fitting bra - why else can you see the tops of the cups? No woman would have been caught dead with misbehaving lingerie like that back then, and the soft satin cups of 40's lingerie made it nearly impossible a

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Text - kk-maker Nope, Nick Fury totally did this on purpose. There's no knowing what kind of condition Steve's in, or what kind of person he really is, after decades of nostalgia blur the reality and the long years in the ice (after a plane crash and a shitload of radiation) do their work. (Pre-crash Steve is in lots of files, l'm sure. Nick Fury does not trust files.) So Fury instructs his people to build a stage, and makes sure that the right people put up some of the wrong cues. Maybe the rea

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Text - The real question here is, how long it does it take for the man, the myth, the legend to notice? What does he do about it? How long does he wait to get his bearings, confirm his suspicions, and gather information before attempting busting out? Turns out the answer's about forty-five seconds. marguerite26 Sometimes clever posts die a quiet death in the abyss of the unreblogged. Some clever posts get attention, get comments, get better. Then there's this one which I've watched evolve into a

6. Here's the scene in question.

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