There's nothing in this world quite like a good Dad joke. The simplicity and elegance of a stupid pun perfectly executed can make you feel like you're in the back seat of a car on your way to soccer practice. In any case, here are several days worth of wonderful puns. For more, here are some of tumblr's most punishingly dad-tastic jokes.
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Well never understand what makes a person swerve around a railroad barrier to try to beat a train. And while we'll never understand it, we will certainly watch these idiots do exactly that every single time. For more gifs of insane crap, here's some godlike times people defied the odds and stuck the landing.
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The internet offered up their hot takes on whether or not this VP of Sales is in fact the jerk for firing an employee after their parents died; and the verdict is absolutely. I mean, come on, man. Timing is everything with that shit. Sure it's a cold and cruel world, and business is business, but maybe let things drag on a little bit amidst the life-defining, hard news.
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Some days the struggle is more real than others. For these poor and exhausted souls, the struggle has never been more present. Sometimes you just wake up and the world decides to hand you a nice, hot steaming sh*t sandwich.
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As much as this little guy sounds like someone trying to start up a boat, and a dumb as he sounds when he chokes on himself, and as embarrassed as he looks being laughed at, he still reminds us of ourselves. Soft, horny and terrible.
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Consider the following a comprehensive manual on what NOT to leave on your online profile. These people are doing a beautiful job at looking like complete pretentious jerks on their online profiles.
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THAT'S GROSS🤢😱 - An employee at the Burger King on State Road 13 in Fruit Cove used a dirty mop to clean tables in the restaurant's play area last night. https://t.co/80zyjrqdfv pic.twitter.com/h3VHXAZpL9
— News4JAX (@wjxt4) June 7, 2019
Florida Man Burger King Edition. You would not want to find yourself eating off one of these grimy tables. Maybe just steer clear of Burger Kings in Florida. I mean, if we're aiming for positivity here...at least he was cleaning the tables!
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@dog_feelings never fails to make us sorely wish we could actually read what dogs are thinking. Is it truly that loving, loyal, and painfully wholesome? Would love to be able to peel back the curtain and see what kinds of dreams dogs have as well. What gets them so riled up all the time when they're snoozing.
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Political scientist @alixabeth, asked Twitter users what methods they break out when trying to get around telling someone what they do for a living. The resulting answers were wildly creative, and might just end up helping bail you out of that next teeth-grinding situation of painful small talk.
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Companies that use bait-and-switch tactics, ridiculous hidden fees and stupid fine print seem like something of the norm these days. These ones are some of the most unfair and stupid of the bunch. For more deceptive and unfair products, check out these misleading and awful products designed by monsters
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Very rude and bad parenting of Dr. Phil to talk to his son that way! Creator of "Bum Fights" Ty Beeson, definitely pulled a hot one on Dr. Phil here. What a mess.
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If you're not following the Adult side of Tumblr on social media, you ain't doing it right. These guys regularly share comedy gold. We went ahead and threw together a list of some of our favorite stuff that they've shared more recently. Get ready to laugh your ass off.
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It's no secret that HBO's Chernobyl has taken the world by storm. It's being hailed as the highest rated TV series of all time on IMDB. No small feat! This gallery compares the show's prominent characters and scenes to their real world counterparts. The results are equally as chilling.
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Sometimes life is going just fine, you're minding your own business, then a bee decides to land on your hand for a second. You think, "oh holy crap this is totally unacceptable. I must let everyone know about the injustice that bee has done, landing on my hand for a second." So you wail as hard as you can for 3 hours, screaming at the top of your lungs, hitting your head against the wall, because of that awful, awful bee. Anyway, for more irrational tantrums, here are more the dumbest reasons kids had meltdowns.
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Twitter user @ashleyfryer, shared the gritty details of her sketch Airbnb experience. It sounds like we've got a real-life house of horrors on our hands! Definitely has all the makings of a nice modern horror story. And the setting will just be different Airbnbs.
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That's kind of what uncles are for, right? When this guy wasn't paying attention to what his own kid was watching, and got a warning from the uncle, he said "just do it" and the rest is history. It's just a shame that the kids got the worst end of the stick here. Here's a link to Scientifically Accurate Barney by the way.
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This is the best Marvel review to hit the internet yet. All this Avengers:Endgame hype needed a breath of sweet comedic relief. Thank God for Tumblr.
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This bride decided to ask the internet whether she was the asshole for calling her friends out for NOT bringing gifts/cards to her wedding reception. Her question's been met with a whole bunch of, "yes, you are in fact the asshole of this situation." The passive aggressive element definitely adds a layer of spiciness to this one too.
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When people on facebook see something stupid, you can bet they're gonna call it out over and over again in every way they can think of. We're pretty sure this is becoming a thing, since a suspiciously similar situation happened when the internet roasted this guy's ridiculously old gun back into the last century.
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For those out there that don't have the time or energy to read through the whole saga, here's how I'd break it down: OP falls in love with a French teacher in a small town out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently rumors begin circulating that they were dating while he was still in school, which wasn't true. Thing is that he waited till after graduating. From there, they both get fired and start over in California where they raise a family. Years later OP hears about who started the rumors; his jealous druggie friend, Jerry.
OP goes ahead and sends old videos of Jerry doing drugs back in the day, along with his family who occasionally partook. They too proceed to lose everything. A bit of a brutal revenge tale, if it's in fact true. Hard to tell when the writing and storyline is this developed. An enjoyable read either way though!
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Here are moments of people making stupid but very defensible points, literalism beyond rationality, and wonderful dad-level puns. It's all technically correct, but also kind of dumb, but also awesome at the same time. For more moments like these, here are more boldy dumb jokes that are technically correct.
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Below average intelligence and false information are a LETHAL combination. This cop is a hero in the patience category.
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Tinder is a cesspool of bold immaturity and shameless pickup lines. It's a Wild West of people trying out their very worst on unsuspecting "matches" that never saw the monster coming behind that hopeful right swipe. These 10 moments from the wild world of Tinder didn't fail to get a chuckle or two out of us.
If you're looking for more Tinder gold we recommend you check out this collection of weird and awesome Tinder profiles that make a case for being single.
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These kids found ways to get a cash flow going while they were busy struggling through those soul-grinding obligations like showing up for class (every now and again). We wonder how things turned out for them. There's something to be said for the ingenuity of a busy student able to make and run a black market on the side. Takes some serious brains!
Looking for more juicy AskReddit material on school drama. Check out this list of people describing their school's horrifying incidents!
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Behold, what was once an obstructive pipe is now a saxophone! Here's public graffiti that either made a statement or just cleverly tried to make the best out of a less-than-pretty concrete landscape. For more art finding its way into everyday life, here are some brilliantly vandalized school textbooks.
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This dude impressively stopped an out of control umbrella in its tracks moments before it would've slammed into his car window. Hell yeah. That little girl got it right.
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