J.K. Rowling would seem hellbent on keeping herself entertained post-Harry Potter through regularly preying upon unsuspecting Twitter personalities, or just Donald Trump all the time. Usually, she digs a bit deeper into the well of razor-sharp and unforgiving witty banter. This particular insult though, is just kind of awkward.
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It's kind of a dreary Tuesday. Winter's kind of back and it's time to get warm. So cuddle up close to your internet-ready device and enjoy these eight warm roasts that'll keep you warm with blanket of laughs and some people getting roasted to a crisp.
For more hilarity and FAILs be sure to check out our Pinterest page.
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These memes aren't like some kind of pepper that's going to burn your mouth through the seven rings of Hell, but they do have a bit of a kick to them. In all honesty, they have just a little more spice than the Powerpuff Girls so that we can dip your toes in and test the waters.
For more like this, check out our Pinterest page.
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Anyone out there encountering struggles in that crazy little thing called the modern dating game, should feel a wave of reassurance, a stiff shot of encouragement after reading how damn easy it is to pull through with landing an acceptable, successful pick-up line. Basically, tacos are key. Tacos and more tacos.
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Well well, these were generally uncomfortable to read through. Does make you wonder how successful their attempts were, or rather, how quickly they were able to achieve 'unmatched' status.
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The kind gents over at Total Frat Move received this hilariously basic, hedonism-crazed text from that one chick who is continually seven kinds of lit and turnt, trying to keep from falling off the face of the earth, all the while lending a new meaning to the term 'day tripping' at the yearly summer music festival/any pool party. Let's just hope her girlfriends were ready to embark upon a brain cell-destroying, ride of a lifetime through the wildest, EDM-drenched, tequila-infused pits of that commercialized underworld, Las Vegas.
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Working in fast food is one of the most thankless jobs in the world. Not only do you work for low wages and disrespectful clientele, but people are actively trying to keep you from making more money by keeping the minimum wage low.
Even worse than that, it's hard. You're expected to have a fast turnaround on complicated menu items. But what menu items are the worst? For that, Reddit went to the source and veterans of fast food are dishing out their war stories. Check it out:
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We all have our favorite drummers. Keith Moon. Neil Peart. John Bonham.
But me, my favorite drummer is this mall mascot who tears up this electronic drum kit.
Xの紅など激しい曲ばかりではなくて、ここで1曲お子さん向けの曲を…！と始まったアンパンマンのマーチですが、、、
— 綺 (@ak1225_062708) March 4, 2017
段々激しくなっていく2番からの演奏をご覧下さい。 http://pic.twitter.com/MjL74UAaa2
I mean I think you can see why. He's a real drummer at the wrong gig.
The internet loves him to. Check it out:
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Let's face it, we all suck at Tinder. How do I know this? Because Jesus is on Tinder, and we just can't compete with this.
I mean check this dude out:
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I'm thinking the $4,500 value of this uniquely ridiculous creature is shooting a bit low. I mean come on people, it's a snake...covered in damm emojis! Well done, man.
Submitted by: (via Justin Kobylka)
Somethin bout gravity
Oh he so mad but he
sweater already
gravity spaghetti
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In case you haven't heard, last night, the GOP unveiled their long-awaited replacement plan for Obamacare. To no one's surprise, it's filled with policy that will not only leave million uninsured and penalized heavily for not having insurance, but also give lots nice tax credits for the rich! These guys are nothing if not predictable.
For the most part, it seems a lot like a plan that was slapped together in a hurry (because it was), becoming something og shittier version of Obamacare, offering similar ideas but for more money and less coverage. Even some House Republicans are calling this thing "Obamacare 2.0."
One thing it did help, however, was the internet, which got 10 CCs of memes comparing the Affordable Care Act with its whack-ass knockoff, the GOP replace aka The American Health Care Reform Act.
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Don't tell British runner Laura Muir not to take a victory lap, got it?
Over the weekend, Muir won the gold medal at the European Indoor Athletics Championships. But because the schedule for the events were so tight, officials tried to keep her from her victory lap.
Then Muir realized she's a great runner.
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These won't fail to make you smile.
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It's Monday again. That means that you're going to need something to help you through your day, let's start with these.
For more hilarity be sure to check out our Pinterest page.
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It's been a great 4.54 billion years, but I think it's time to end Earth.
Why?
Because people have started a hot new trend of dipping pizza in milk, and, wow, let's just end the whole thing now. Seriously, I just looked at a picture of this, and I don't see much of a point in continuing the whole planet Earth thing.
There's plenty of things to dip in milk. Cookies, cereal, your hand. But not pizza. The only thing you should dip pizza in is more sauce. But, you know what? Humans have made such a mess of things, so maybe it's time to just quit while we're ahead — or rather before we've totally lost.
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Hayley Minn was on the receiving end of a madly thirsty samaritan who got it in his head to expose soul and lusty goals in a particularly illustrative letter.
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I consider myself lucky to be around to yes, witness a glaring inability on the part of Trump's team to actually include a 'shamrock' on their St Paddy's Day-themed ball caps. The big fail here is that shamrocks have three leaves, and this hat includes four, which makes it a four-leafed clover..
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It's not easy when someone wins Tinder, you know. Tinder is supposed to be for all the lonely hearts, and when someone goes winning at it with an amazing series of profile pictures.
Twitter user @rllynatalia posted an amazing Tinder profile that leads us all to question why any of us even bother. Check out Jared. He's great at this.
how is tinder free http://pic.twitter.com/aovc5ciwIV
— nat (@rllynatalia) March 6, 2017
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