Friday, December 30, 2016
George R.R. Martin Pens Thoughtful Sentiment on How He's Completely Done With This 'Wretched Year'
You know you've crossed a line when you've got an iconically morbid author waving the white flag. We've had so many beautiful souls taken from us, and too soon at that, this year.
We just lost Carrie Fisher and Richard Adams, and George R.R. Martin finally took pen to paper to voice the rage and unrest so many of us are feeling when it comes to this damn year:
Adams was a wonderful writer. Yes, WATERSHIP DOWN was his masterpiece, but it was by no means his only great book. He wrote two terrific epic fantasies with human characters, SHARDIK and MAIA, both of which I think are criminally underrated, as well as an erotic ghost story, THE GIRL ON A SWING. His other “animal book,” THE PLAGUE DOGS, also has some wonderful sections… though it is such a dark, depressing, angry, gut-punch of a novel that I can’t say I ‘enjoyed’ it.
Adams was not ‘one of us,’ in the sense that he was never a convention-goer or part of our genre fantasy community, which may be why he was never honored with a life achievement award by the World Fantasy Convention. Nonetheless, he deserved one. I’ve been suggesting him for that honor for at least twenty years… in part because I wanted to meet him. Now I never will. That’s sad (though not as sad as PLAGUE DOGS).
Submitted by: (via George R.R. Martin)
Reason of the Day: This Video Explains Why Your New Year’s Eve Is Never As Fun As You Hope
After a month of the worst group text experience of your life, New Year’s Eve is here, and you and your friends have finally decided on what you’re doing – unless Jake gets back to you because Jake throws the best parties.
But New Year’s Eve never really lives up to the hype, does it? And why is that? We try so hard to make it a special night. We even might get invited to Jake’s party. He’s going to have a two-story beer bong this year. Two. Stories. It’ll be so sick.
ASAP Science actually has a pretty reasonable list of reasons why New Year’s kind of stinks.
- Expectations — We all think that New Year’s is going to be a climactic end to our year, but it usually just ends with you passed out on your floor clutching a copy of the West Side Story soundtrack and screaming, “Why, Maria? Why?”
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Trying too hard — To live up to the expectations of the night, we all try and make sure that the night is as perfect as possible, which is why you have got to be at Jake’s party this year. But the fact is, trying too hard to have a good time leads to a bad time.
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Optimism Bias — Apparently, our brain is hardwired to expect positive outcomes over negative ones. How do I get some of that optimism bias?
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Reflection — Thinking about the past year can be… sad.
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Alcohol — Reflection plus alcohol can be sadder.
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Cost — Between dinner and the Über, NYE can cost a ton of money. Once you factor in all the money you spend trying to bribe your way into Jake’s party, you’re pretty broke come Jan. 1.
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The Kiss — If you don’t have someone to kiss, you’re sad. If you do, everyone hates you.
Happy New Year! Make strong decisions!
Submitted by: (via AsapSCIENCE)
Parent of the Day: Grinchy Dad Steals Christmas and Throws Gifts in the Fire
Getting coal as a gift is one thing, but using gifts as coal is quite another.
One dad pulled a page out of the Jimmy Kimmel Guide to Parenting and gave his kids a traumatic experience for Christmas. Who says Christmas is over?
When his kids wouldn’t go to bed or something, YouTuber Scotty B asked his daughter to get a gift from under the tree. He then took the gift and tossed into the fire. That’s when all Hell (or just some well-deserved whining) broke loose.
His daughter called mom, and what happens next will blow your mind.
Dad reveals that it was just a Christmas joke, and the girl threatens, “I’m still telling my friends on you.”
Seem harmless enough until you realize her friends include Santa Claus. Game. Set. Match.
Submitted by: (via Scotty B)
Ruthless Dog Sh*ts All Over Family's Attempt at Taking Holiday Pic
These Clever People Found a Way to Make Sure They'll Keep Their New Year's Resolutions
The easiest way to avoid disappointment is to have low expectations!
Submitted by:
Thursday, December 29, 2016
In Ancient Greece Great Breasts Were an Acceptable Legal Defense
If the tits are legit you must acquit, in this hilarious story from history.
Submitted by:
Girl Tells Her Boyfriend He Should Write An Essay On Why She Should Blow Him, and the Results Are Brilliant Comedic Gold
A+ for effort dude.
Submitted by:
Watch This Hockey Bro Ruthlessly Kiss His Beer Instead of Girlfriend When He's Caught on Game's Kiss-Cam
Slovakia fan at #WJC2017 kisses his beer instead of his girlfriend on the kiss cam https://t.co/8sJZydjc7l
— Marina Molnar (@mkmolnar) December 29, 2016
Submitted by: (via @mkmolnar)
Video of the Day: Dude Keeps Passing Out On A Rollercoaster But Every Time He Passes Out the Windows Startup Music Plays
There are a lot of videos of people passing out on rollercoasters. There are a lot of videos of people making weird noises on rollercoasters. But there’s only one video where the Windows startup music plays every time this guy passes out on a rollercoaster.
Let’s just say this video delivers. It’s 60, uninterrupted seconds of a man in a pink shirt passing out on a rollercoaster. What’s more, every time he passes out, get this, the Windows startup music plays.
Passes Out
Bing bing ding dong
Passes Out
Bing bing ding dong
Passes Out
Bing bing ding dong
To paraphrase Men’s Warehouse founder George Zimmer, you’re gonna love watching this video. I guarantee it.
Submitted by: (via ThierryTuyishimeTV)
Of Course Someone Set up a GoFundMe to Protect Betty White From 2016
2016 has been a hell of a year and it seems like NO ONE is safe from what the internet has been calling the worst calendar year ever. We still have a few days left before we can all breathe a sigh of relief and move on to complaining about how much worse 2017 is. That's why this brave man has set up a fund to protect national treasure, Betty White, from 2016. From the GoFundMe page, here is his pitch:
Help 2016 catch these hands if it goes anywhere near Betty White! If she's okay with it I will fly to where ever Betty White is and keep her safe till Jan 1 , 2017. Now , assuming she doesn't want a strange Greek standing gaurd outside her door all monies will be donated to the Spartanburg little theater to help craft new stars of stage and screen to carry mantle of the legends that have left is this year.
So... It's not going to Betty White really but hey, it's for a good cause. Besides, who knows what she would really do with all that free money anyway?
Submitted by: (via GoFundMe)
Woman Turns Grumpy Grandpa's Vices Into Entertaining Game of Bingo for the Whole Family
Can we please get a follow up here with his reaction at the sight of this glorious game?
Submitted by: (via bitchytyphoon)