Thursday, January 7, 2016

Mike Rowe Speaks Out Regarding Bank Robber Rumors


news-picture-mike-rowe-bank-robbery-rumor

Mike Rowe needs you to hear him loud, and hear him clear, when he tells you he's not robbing banks.

The former 'Dirty Jobs' Host and 'Deadliest Catch' narrator's under a great deal of scrutiny after an image of what appears as Mike Rowe from a frickin parallel universe, holding up a bank, surfaced. The resemblance is uncanny, in every sense of the word.

The rumors went viral after various folks across Facebook joked that this was a maddened, wild ploy by Rowe to kickstart a new season of 'Dirty Jobs.'

Rowe was quick to the punch and fought to quell the fast uprising of these rumors by releasing an alibi on his Facebook page: "For what it's worth, I was in Kansas Monday, and can prove it, if need be."

Rowe went on to bury himself in a bit of a hole by offering up something of an outlandish theory, "what if the thief was not an idiot, but a clever person of below average height wearing a Mike Rowe Mask?"

Alright. Will the real Mike Rowe please stand up?

Submitted by: (via Uproxx)

There Are Two Very-Different Nightmares Happening in This Failed Face Swap


If You're a Student Driver, Having Ice Cube, Kevin Hart And Conan O'Brien in the Car is Not Helpful


Welcome to the Netherlands, in the Winter We Ice Skate To Work


Submitted by: (via Random Onzin)

This Tennis Player is the Epitome of Sportsmanship For Telling His Opponent To Challenge a Call Against Him


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Tarpman is the Hero #YallQaeda Needs Right Now


Amid a devastating lack of snacks in the ongoing militia occupation of an Oregon wildlife preservation, one man is prepared to weather the storm. That's right, #Tarpman. Who is this mysterious freedom fighter behind the Thin Blue Tent Lining? Twitter just might have the answers you're looking for.

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These Aussie Fishers Nearly Get Whacked By a Giant Angry Marlin


Had a great day off Port Stephens yesterday on board " The Pump". Went 6-6-4 for the day and also had one come into the boat. Pretty much as close as it gets.

Posted by Conor Cogan on Friday, January 1, 2016

Submitted by: (via Conor Cogs)

I Literally Can Not Mean Everything I Say


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Submitted by: Unknown

Preorders for Oculus Rift Opened Today With a $599 Price Tag, Is It Worth It?


The future is now! And finally you can start to order it but with a cost of $599.00, is the Oculus Rift worth it? These virtual reality fails will help you decide.

Submitted by: Unknown

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

This Girl Went on a Date With Martin Shkreli and It Sounds Like It Was Not Bad, Honestly


woman describes tinder date with pharma bro martin shkreli

If there was ever a time to point to something and say "see, girls really do like jerks!" this would be it.

Late last year, a woman named Jacklyn Collier went on a date with pharma bro Martin Shkreli some time after his AIDs drug price hike occurred. And then she wrote about it for The Washington Post.

They 'met' on Tinder, where he wooed her with lines like "I’m that guy who has been in the news lately," and sent her photos of his license and credit card as proof of identity. Who could resist a date with that guy? To be fair, Collier describes her motivations for the date as a little less than perfectly honest:

I also had a fantasy of being the manic pixie dream girl who helped him turn his life around. I pictured us opening an HIV/AIDS clinic together and wandering the streets of New York, handing out wads of cash to homeless people and other strangers.


On their date, Shkreli was apparently very awkward and polite. Collier is a vegetarian, so Shkreli (via his assistant) made sure the restaurant could accomodate her diet:

Martin asked, “Is there a vegetarian menu? My assistant said there was a vegetarian menu. There’s a vegetarian menu, right?” He wasn’t being a jerk; it was more of an “I’m stressed because my date doesn’t put raw fish in her mouth” kind of comment.


Aw, he was stressed! He also apparently admitted that just one drink was enough for him: "Martin told me that he was a lightweight, something I’d never heard a man admit on a date (or ever)." Collier seems kind of impressed by this.



As the date went on, Collier and Shkreli discussed their days and Shkreli layed on some thick philanthropy talk, but overall seemed like an okay dude:

Throughout our date, I saw occasional glimpses of the cocky Martin I had expected, but those were the moments that seemed the most false to me, as if putting on a confident-dude front. He seemed the most genuine when he was acting like the guys I hung out with in high school (I dated the president of the chess club); that’s probably why I felt so comfortable on our date.


At the end of the date, Shkreli pulled a real power move that Collier totally didn't see coming: he ordered a $120 cup of tea they had joked about being ridiculous earlier, then proceeded to tell Collier he wasn't much of a tea drinker. Collier describes her reaction to the moment: 

I thought of all the good I could do with that money — donating it to charity, buying a new winter coat, buying myself 20 Venti iced soy vanilla chai lattes. He might as well have eaten a $100 bill in front of me.


Afterwards, Shkreli's driver took Collier home. She was left not interested in dating him, but without the sour taste one would expect from spending an evening with 2015's most hated dude:

I am not trying to excuse his professional behavior or say he’s a good person. (I can’t really tell from one date and occasional text communication.) But he’s a lot more interesting and complex than I would have imagined.

My only regret is not guzzling a cup of that $120 tea. As far as Tinder dates go, I’d call that a win.

Submitted by: (via The Washington Post)

These Photos Are Only Illusions But They Will Still Blow Your Mind


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With just the right perspective, even the real world can become an optical illusion. These photos, shared on Facebook by ArtPeople, are just too good to be true.

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Twitter's Sexy Obsession With the 'Making a Murderer' Defense Attorney Shows That Everyone Wants a Hero


Twitter has come down with a strange crush on Dean Strang and Jerome "Jerry" Buting. These two intrepid defense attorneys from the increasingly popular 'Making a Murderer' series have struck a chord with the audience in a way that might give new meaning to justice porn.

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If You Love 'Making a Murder' You Need to Watch This Seth Meyers Spoof


If You Ever Wished Bowling Was More Exciting to Watch, This Guy Has You Covered


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Tagged: sports , FAIL , bowling , Video

If 'Slinky Kung Fu' Needed a Definition, This is It


Life is an Everyday Struggle




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Tagged: candy , vine , raccoons , tweet , animals

The First Week of the New Year is Always the Hardest


funny new year back to work desk sign

Submitted by: (via Funny or Die)

Tagged: new years , work

This Cricket Player's Mid-Interview Flirting Game is Shamelessly Smooth


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Life is an Everyday Struggle


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Tagged: candy , vine , raccoons , tweet , animals

This Might Be One of the Most Australian Auto-Accessories Ever


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You May Have Heard That #YallQaeda is in Need of Snacks. Well, The Internet is Here to Help


If you haven't been following the standoff in Oregon, just let The Internet bring you up to speed. An armed, and otherwise poorly supplied militia has taken over a government building. Now that they've official sent out an SOS for more delicious sustenance, the Internet is ready for round two of responses to #VanillaISIS.

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Learn to Make Shepard's Pie the Metal Way


Submitted by: (via Linzey Rae)

Tagged: metal , Music , cooking , Video

It's a Very Official School Company Letter, Don't Question It Mom


funny fail image little kid tries to forge school letter

Isn't forgery cute?

Submitted by: (via tgrim1)

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Leaving a Negative Customer Service Review Left One Amazon Customer With a Giant Dong


man finds dildo in shopping cart after negative review on amazon

Imagine this: you're a student looking for some specific edition of a no doubt ridiculously overpriced textbook, and you think you found what you need on Amazon. You order it, relieved that you don't have to go to your school's bookstore and provide your firstborn as payment. Only when you get the book, it's the wrong edition. You contact Amazon to track down the right edition, and after a few days they tell you they don't have it and to return the book for a full refund.

That's exactly what happened to Pedro in Ireland. Frustrated with his experience, Pedro left a negative review in a customer satisfaction survey, only to later find an enormous schlong, "The Hulk 10.25-inch Huge Dong Black," in his shopping cart ready to offend any delicate sensibilities: "I was at the office, in an open space, with people behind me. A guy and two girls were sitting by me when I opened up Amazon and they saw the contents of my shopping basket." Well, maybe your coworkers should learn not to look at other peoples' monitors, Pedro.



Pedro contacted customer support, and though they wouldn't confirm an Amazon representative had placed the item in his cart, they issued him a €100 credit and an apology, saying they would work with HR to make sure this didn't happen again.

Pedro stands by his actions, believing that any bad customer service should be reported, and that "the entry for "The Hulk" is completely misleading. I would expect something called "The Hulk" to be green. It's picture is pink and the description says it is black. My whole issue with Amazon.de started because of incorrect description of items -- and this entry does not help their case."

Submitted by: (via ArsTechnica)

This Honest Gym Membership Ad Will Make You Giggle About Your New Year's Resolution of Going to the Gym


Submitted by: (via Cracked)

Here's a Casual Explanation of Evolution


Guess Who Isn't Employee of the Month


everyone doing great job except cody

Submitted by: (via mike_pants)

Tagged: sign , cody , IRL , work

Now This Guy Knows How to Swing a Hammer


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These Little Kids Can't Handle Life Without Their iPhones


Please tell us this is some sort of sick and perverse joke; or at least that younger generations aren't this far lost in the throes of a technology-addled era?

Submitted by: (via America's Funniest Home Videos)

Tagged: Sad , FAIL , Video , crying , iphone

I've Got A Baaaaad Feeling About This One


funny animal image where goat is mistaken for jack russell terrier

Submitted by: (via MemeW)