Now that this baby's has experienced the only real joy in life, it's all downhill from here. At least he's in good company:
Submitted by: (via Tyler Beach)
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
This Baby Eating Bacon For the First Time Will Only Remind You That You'll Never Be That Happy Again
Mike Tyson's Biggest Knockout Came Courtesy of a Hoverboard
#hoverboard #knockout #MikeTysonBreaksBack #imtoooldforthisshit #cyboard
Posted by Mike Tyson on Tuesday, December 29, 2015
At least Mike's got a sense of humor about it.
Now I'm just waiting for someone to add a hoverboard to his classic boxing game.
Submitted by: (via Mike Tyson)
Rare Footage Of Giant Squid Near Boat Moorings In Japan
A Japanese news website is reporting that this giant squid was filmed on December 24, by an underwater camera swimming near boat moorings.
It was reportedly about 13 feet long and 3 feet around. Some on Twitter have suggested that the species may be Architeuthis, a deep-ocean dwelling creature that can grow up to 43 feet.
Submitted by: (via ANNnewsCH)
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
After Fleeing Texas, The 'Affluenza' Teen Was Found and Caught in a Mexican Resort Town (Of Course)
You'll remember Ethan Couch was convicted of four counts of intoxication manslaughter, but was not sentenced to any jail time. Instead, he was given 10 years' probation. Couch's defense team, which included psychologist Dr. G. Dick Miller, argued that the teen suffered from "affluenza," meaning his irresponsible behavior and lifestyle were a product of his affluent upbringing and "profoundly dysfunctional" parents.
Part of his parole mandates that he regularly checks in with his parole officer and that he not drink alcohol for 10 years. The latter is being investigated now thanks to a snapchat of Ethan playing beer pong at a house party in Texas.
ya boy ethan couch violating probation. i got more if u want @CityofBurleson @TarrantCountyDA http://pic.twitter.com/otiGprQ1uD
— h (@BlondeSpectre) December 2, 2015
Couch and his mother were picked up in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on Monday, reports a spokesman for the Jalisco state prosecutor's office. After both underwent a medical checkup, they were transferred to immigration authorities and will be returning to the U.S. "shortly."
Submitted by: (via CNN)
We Can All Relate To This Baby Penguin That's Embarrassingly Too Big For His Dad's Pouch
This Guy is the Only One You'll Want Filming Your Parkour Videos
When a Ninja does your camerawork! Skills Gimbalninja
Posted by Jason Paul on Friday, December 25, 2015
Submitted by: (via Jason Paul)
29-Year-Old Thief Died Trying to Rob A Condom Machine
The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.
ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.
Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.
Submitted by: (via ABC News)
The Most Talented Cover of Adele's Hello You'll See This Year
No more Bets I'm done!!!////ORDER KATLIN ALBUM AT teamkatlin.org $15 my Email is Teamkatlin@gmail.com
Posted by Felix Omar Hill on Sunday, December 27, 2015
Submitted by: (via Felix Omar Hill)
You'd Be Screaming Bloody Curses Once You Realized What You Were Reeling In Was a Shark Too
Warning, this New Zealander does curse while trying to reel in a shark.
Submitted by: (via Storyful News)
The Force is Strong With This Man Dressed as Kylo Ren Riding BB-8 While Playing Flaming Bagpipes in the Rain
Someone Calculated How Much Money We've Fictionally Wasted Saving Matt Damon
I think it's time to let Matt Damon die, y'all.
According to Quora user Kynan Eng's calculations, if all of Matt Damon's characters were real, we would have already spent nearly a trillion dollars trying to save him:
Courage Under Fire (Gulf War 1 helicopter rescue): $300k
Saving Private Ryan (WW2 Europe search party): $100k
Titan AE (Earth evacuation spaceship): $200B
Syriana (Middle East private security return flight): $50k
Green Zone (US Army transport from Middle East): $50k
Elysium (Space station security deployment and damages): $100m
Interstellar (Interstellar spaceship): $500B
The Martian (Mars mission): $200B
TOTAL: $900B plus change
What is it about Matt Damon's face that makes people want to keep him safe? Apparently his movies have only grossed $2.7B, so he's not even close to pulling his own fake weight.
Submitted by: (via Quora)
If You Attend a Monster Truck Rally on Acid, You're Going to Have a Bad Time
This bold day tripper shoves two tabs of acid down his throat before showing up to cover a Monster Truck rally for VICE's 'On Acid' series. Suffice to say, Dr. Gonzo would've approved. After all, 'when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.'
Also, how terrifying are those snow-cone mugs? In what universe would someone want to drink some rainbow slush out one of those?
Submitted by: (via VICE)
Monday, December 28, 2015
Apparently, Bleach Can, Well, Bleach Coke
It's kind of the reverse of Jesus turning water into wine, except definitely don't drink it.
Submitted by: (via CrazyRussianHacker)
Channel 4's Big Fat Quiz of the Year Had a Quintessentially-British 'Hotline Bling' Dance
This Kid's Extremely Flexible Neck Will Give You the Heebie-Jeebies
How does he do that? Why is it so flexible? Why does my neck feel so stiff?!
Submitted by: (via Sergio Tapia)
CNN's Poppy Harlow Passes out on Live Broadcast
Remember in class when you were called on to read an excerpt from a book, and the ensuing catastrophe that was trying to remember to breathe between sentences?
Let Poppy Harlow be a lesson to us all. This is what happens when you forget to breathe for a hot minute.
On Monday morning CNN's Poppy Harlow PTFO. Midway through a live broadcast we can hear the anchorwoman hit an imaginative wall. Shortly after Harlow came back on the air to reassure viewers that she had, 'gotten a little hot and passed out for a moment.'
Thank you all for your concern and messages! I am ok! Passed out briefly and am with the doctor now. So thankful to our amazing CNN team.
— Poppy Harlow (@PoppyHarlowCNN) December 28, 2015
Submitted by: (via Raw Story)
Woman Arrested After Riding Cart in Wal-Mart While Eating Chicken and Drinking Wine
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.
If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
Submitted by: (via CBS Miami)
Did Patriots Really Mean to Kickoff in Overtime?
The New England Patriots played all day as if they were wearing ankle weights against the New York Jets, but still managed to push the game past regulation into overtime with a late and shining moment of clutch city from Tom Brady. Let's just say things went downhill fast soon as OT started.
In an act of madness the Patriots chose to kickoff, after winning the coin flip for overtime.
Here is the transcript of the coin toss at MetLife. Seems like Slater just made a mistake. Game-changer. http://pic.twitter.com/ajuyE0u2Ml
— Kevin Seifert (@SeifertESPN) December 27, 2015
Whoops?
@MikeGarafolo http://pic.twitter.com/9dLTXxMSOv
— Eli Chesner (@eli_chesner) December 27, 2015
Unsurprisingly it took the Jets a mere five plays to drive down the field for a six-yard TD pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick to Eric Decker for the win.
Submitted by: (via Uproxx)
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