Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Willie Nelson Is Selling His Own Strand of Weed


smoke willie's weed, trust me.

Via AP:

A release explaining Willie's Reserve says it reflects Nelson's appreciation for "the many varieties and range of the plant's qualities." The release says the 81-year-old Nelson will collaborate with master growers to define standards for the strain.

Submitted by: (via Boing Boing)

Record of the Day: 120-pound Woman Eats 216 Ounces of Steak in Under 20 Minutes


Mmmm… 'Murica!

Competitive eater Molly Schuyler broke a new record this weekend, eating 3 72-oz steaks in less than 20 minutes.

At this year's 72oz Showdown at the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, Schuyler was matched up against four teams of two, and she singlehandedly destroyed her competition while besting herself in the process.

The other teams included professional wrestlers and football players and they each had one hour to throw down as much as they could.

In total, Schuyler, who weighs just 124 pounds, ate 3 steaks, 3 backed potatoes, 3 shrimp cocktails, 3 side salads and 3 rolls.

Basically, as The Big Texan describes it, she consumed more than 13.5 pounds of food which is "the equivalent of a bowling ball or averaged sized three-month-old baby."



Anyone who stops by The Big Texan can take the challenge, but if they don't finish their meal in an hour they have to pay $72.

Schuyler not only got the 3 free meals, but also a $5,000 prize… and apparently an extended trip to the bathroom.

Submitted by: (via The Big Texan)

Tagged: steak , oh god why , america , food , win

One Year, 12 Months, Let's Call the Whole Thing Off


This Poor Guy Got a Gun Pulled on Him for Asking His Neighbor for Help With Some Bike Tires


Submitted by: (via WPBF 25 News)

Bikini Wearing Granny Arrested for DUI


grandma gets in car accident while drunk

Submitted by: (via Uproxx)

Tagged: news , grandma , arrested , bikini , dui , idiots , Video

When Slang Screws Up Everything


Rapper Waka Flocka Flame Announces His Bid for Presidency on 4/20. God Bless These United States of America.


The major tenants of his platform? Legalizing marijuna, getting dogs banned from restaurants, keeping people with giant feet from taking up space on the sidewalk, and raising the minimum wage. 

His only major concern seems to be the candidacy of Hillary Clinton ("women love her!"). 

"I am congress, I am president." - Waka Flocka Flame, 2015.

Submitted by: (via Rolling Stone)

Teens Are Doing the #KylieJennerChallenge to Make Their Lips Look Disgusting. Turns Out That's a Terrible Idea.


Apparently the joke started when teens attempted to replicate the Kardashian sibling's large lips by putting a bottle cap over their mouths and sucking out the air. The only problem? Well, that has a tendency to keep your lips swollen for a long period of time, and in some cases can even lead to a loss of sensation entirely. 

But when did that ever stop a good hashtag game?

Submitted by: (via FedeTV)

Nobody Likes Flying, but Nobody Hates it More Than the Woman Who Got Stabbed a Snoring Passenger in the Arm With a Pen


Everybody Loves a Bunch of Terrible Jokes, Right?


Submitted by: (via Jayme Pen)

Tagged: jokes , puns , Video , g rated , win

You Came for the Spinal Adjustments, but This Chiropractor Wants You to Stay for the Free Exorcisms and Sexy Business


Submitted by: (via KCCI)

You Came for the Spinal Adjustments, but This Chiropractor Wants You to Stay for the Free Exorcisms and Sexy Business


We're Gonna Leave a Nice, Happy Little Comment Right Here


The Denver Police in Pot-Legal Colorado Had a Special 4/20 Message for Everyone


funny-twitter-pic-police-denver-420

Submitted by: (via DenverPolice)

Tagged: twitter , 420 , weed , police

The "McBackflip" is a Dumb Prank We Really Hope Doesn't Catch On


Kids these days, am I right?

Submitted by: (via Hanna Thessing)

The Spongebob of Your Nightmares


A Slightly Drunk Dad Attempted to Tattoo His Son's Name on Himself and Screwed Up. Twice.


funny-tattoo-fail-parenting-dad

Using an at-home tattoo kit (always a great idea), he tried to write "Riley" on his arm, but accidentally started writing a "P" instead of an "L." Later he tried to do right by writing the boy's nickname, "Sonny Boy" on his knuckles. That, of course, ended with "Sony Boy" instead. Whoops!

Submitted by: (via Metro)

Frozen and Gross and Not at All Necessary


funny-fail-sign-gross-freezer

Submitted by: (via Bits and Pieces)

Tagged: gross , note , Office , fridge

These Cupcakes Just Smell Awful


funny-fail-pic-birthday-hair-fire

Submitted by: (via Acid Cow)

Tagged: hair , whoops , birthday , fire , cupcakes

They Certainly Do


sign,elevator,kids,parenting

Submitted by: (via Fail Nation)

Tagged: sign , elevator , kids , parenting

Classic: You Can Remove This Tree, but Not Without a Fight


Submitted by: (via SDMarriot)

Tagged: tractor , tree , Video

You're Not Getting Out of This One


funny-fail-gifs-cops-police-burn

Submitted by: (via Bits and Pieces)

Tagged: ouch , cops , gifs , burn , police

See, It's Easy to Talk Like a Politician


funny-facebook-fail-politician-talk

Submitted by: (via Lisbear)

Going Blind: Only the Cool Kids Are Doing it!


funny-facebook-fail-science-blind-sun

Submitted by: (via momentsrewound)

How to Make Kids Hate a New Piece of Slang in Seconds


funny-sign-pic-school-swag

Submitted by: (via mistermajik2000)

Tagged: sign , school , swag

This Just Got Weird...


your grandpa was a nazi...there I, said it.

Submitted by: (via kittykatej)

Tagged: wtf , tinder , Grandpa , nazi , funny , dating

Kids Learn the Darndest Things


wtf,kids,gospel,science,School of FAIL

Submitted by: Unknown

So They All Got Numbers, Right?


funny-fail-pic-boat

Submitted by: (via Acid Cow)

Monday, April 20, 2015

An Agoraphobic Gets Out of the House for the First Time in Ages, Immediately Falls Into an Open Manhole


funny-news-fail-agoraphobic-grandma-manhole-fall

Janet Faal of the UK has suffered from agoraphobia (a fear of open spaces and the outside) for years. As a part of her recovery and rehabillitation, she ventured out of the house with a friend. While helping said friend reverse her vehicle out of a car park, Faal kicked away an obtrusive wooden pallet. What she didn't know was that it was covering an open manhole. It took nearly an hour for rescue crews to help her, at which point it was clear her fall bruised up her face and broke her foot.

Faal is concerned that the incident has set back her recovery time by "years," and she clearly has no intentions to go outside again any time soon.

Submitted by: (via Daily Mail)